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male
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*ray-c
writes: I've been going with a girl for around 2 months but we are not bf and gf as we're both just out of longterm relationships. As we both have hectic schedules we can only see eachother once a week or so I want to see her more while but she doesn't seem too bothered. When we meet up its fantastic we do everything and anything and where like two lovebirds but when apart she doesn't like texting or phoning so its up to me. I have met all her friends and some of her family. Are my being led on by a no strings attached relationship or is there more??
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): Dear, it's only been two months! Give this relationship time to develop. She's still getting to know who you are and makes you tick. Don't read too much into her actions...not at this stage of the game. I know you like her a lot, but give her space and make sure you make times for your own family and friends, as well. One indicator that she may think a lot of you is she has already introduced you to her family. Being open, vulnerable, and transparent are important for deep bonds and intimacy. You both just have to just get there and this will take time. It sounds like she's being cautious--not rude. Keep being nice, text her lovely messages about onec-twice per week...let her know you are thinking of her...just respect her space. She'll let you know when she's ready to go to the next step.
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (17 July 2006):
 I'm a great believer in give and take in ANY relationship, romantic or other. It seems to me that you are not getting what you want or need from this friendship whilst your 'girlfriend' is getting what she wants. I don't see a difference between "going out with" and "girlfriend and boyfriend" so, I'm sorry but it doesn't make sense. Long term relationship break-up aside, it seems you DO want her to be your girlfriend? I think you need to talk to her and tell her you feel that you are the only one putting in any effort and ask why she doesn't phone etc. It's all very one sided. I bet if you didn't call or text and made no move to contact her, you'd find out exactly what's going on. She'd either wonder why you haven't called etc and get in touch. Or still not contact you and then frankly she's not worth having as a friend or otherwise.
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