A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am in a committed ldr since 3years and 1 month.my bf and i really love each other but now everything has spoiled up.whenever my bf gets angry he abuse me hard.he calls me prost*t*te,b**ch etc.it did became a big issue and we broke up temporarily.he contacted me after 1 week.he apologised.when i said do sit ups for me, he did.today he wanted to party with friends at late night.i didnt knw the time so i slept in the evening just for him,so that i can talk to him at night.when i called he said he cant talk with me because he has to party with friends but he will text me just for the sake of my happiness.i got angry and sad because i have morning classes still i sleep late just for him and tonight he couldnt talk just because he wants to party! i mean he could have talked for sometime.when i cried and asked,he called me a psycho and said that he needs space.he promised me that he will never drink(and he never drank with his friends),but today he said me that he will drink and he is fed up of me.he behaved rudely.he told me to do situps in front of my friends and he wants to hear on phone.i said its not my fault and i wont do it.then he broke up with me and abused me again.m very much upset.i dont know what to do?moreover he is going to move to my city next month but after all this i am confused.what kind of love is it?should i forget him?its really hard for me.sorry for writing long.
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broke up, needs space, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 July 2012):
 Again he is an adult, so if he wants to drink then that is his choice. Yes I agree that he should never have made a promise to you and then break it just to prove a point, it is very immature. But what made him promise you that he would not drink? Was it him that didn't want to or did you ask him not to drink? If you asked him maybe he felt pressured in to it and that is why he then went and drank. I don't think him drinking was wrong off him, it was just wrong off him to promise you he wouldn't. I think you both just need to communicate more.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot for your advice.i hope everything will be alright soon.but he even broke the promise,he drank a lot with his friends to prove me wrong.so should i give him a second chance?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (27 July 2012):
Well for a start asking each other to do sit ups is quite immature in a relationship. I suggest you find some other way to apologise to each other or show that you are sorry. Now on to the issue in hand, him calling you these names is down right disrespectful and you have every reason to be upset and mad at him. However if he is out partying with his friends, then you should not expect him to be on the phone to you. I understand that you stayed up late for him, really I do, but he did not ask you to do this, and he was enjoying some time with friends. Everyone is entitled to do this, and you should give him space when he is out with friends, same as he should do with you. It does not mean his friends are more important than you it just means he does not want to be on a phone when hanging out with them, some people think this is rude if they are in a group and someone is chatting on the phone.
Maybe things will be better between the both of you once he moves to the same city and you get to see each other more, long distant relationships are hard to work at, so maybe things will get better. But a few changes will need to be made. He will need to stop calling you names, and you will need to give him space whenever he wants to go out with friends or do other things without you.
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