A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dont understand my ex broke up 2 months ago. He came to my rescue a few days ago with a family illness. He acts like he wants me back but yet has not called for 2 days. Not even to see how my father is doing in the hospital. So why did he offer to come with me and make sure I was okay. When we got together he asked where his toothbrush was and how he would like to go the movies or rent a movie with our joint movie pass. But yet he never has called. Is he just playing some game? Or does he want me to pursue him? We broke up due to his jealousy over something so ridiculous. He is very emotional and retreats into a cave. But I just don't understand why he wanted to make sure I would be okay and now he has not even called. Even a friend would have called. Please explain. Does he want me to chase him? Or do you think he was just trying to get me to sleep with him? Very perplexing and conflicting behavior. What should I do? I really love him and have always felt he loved me. Is he insecure or just a real jerk
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): Well... When he asked to go see a movie with you, did you communicate willingness to do so? Perhaps he was put off for some reason, perhaps you were playing a little too hard to get..
And as to the family illness, I think he did his part checking in on you and making sure you were Ok. He peaked into your life, and offered his support. It can just get annoying and even outright unwelcome when someone fawns over you obsessively (especially if its an Ex!) so he probably doesn't want to do that. Jealousy, is after all, a first cousin of obsession, and he may be trying to make himself more aloof from you, but at the same time, be trying to find the right balance of caring as well.
Forgive me for playing devil's advocate a bit, I'm not in your situation so I don't fully grasp all the nuance of it. But just the stated facts seem like there is room for debate from both sides.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): I honestly don't really understand where the whole toothbrush thing comes in..
But it has only been two days. That's not very long. He may have stuff going on and by the end of they day he's just tired and doesn't think to call anyone.
I'd give it a little more time before you jump to a conclustion of being a jerk or not caring for you or wanting to be with you.
It does seem like there's some insecurity there becuase you said he got jealous over something rediculous. I can't fully judge that however, because one person's rediculous is another person's big deal. We are all different.
I am inclined to thin that during this time of your father being in the hospital, he is not expecting you to be chasing after him. Most people are not SO idiotic.
Just give him a little more time Love. I think you are bit quick to get yourself worked up or worried. Prehaps you should be spending a little more time thinking of your father and family right now, and not stressing over a guy.
Good luck and I hope he is well.
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