A
female
age
51-59,
*aomi1973
writes:HiI was going out with a guy for 10 months and we really connected and I know I fell for him. However, out of the blue, he said he did'nt think he could have a loving relationship with me but had also said that I lit his fire and made he feel good....so I was very confused. He was married previously and his wife had an affair and left him. He still had feelings for his x that was evident and he had said to me in the past that he has already had a loving relationship??It has been a few months now and I admit, I have not bee able to help myself with texts and emails but just to let him know I am still here. Despite that he does reply but I'm affriad that I have driven him away.I have been upset over the months but I know I had fallen in love with him. I feel the only reason he could'nt continue with me was that he just was'nt ready and otherwise we were good together. Do I tell him what I think of him and how he made me feel?? (because i seem to be going over this in my mind, I also think it might help me move on)I am not saying he will change his mind, but I feel I will regret not saying anything...he's the nicest guy I've met in a long time.Or, if I give him space I fear I will never here from him again....Ooh what di I do??
View related questions:
affair, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (18 January 2009):
 It seems unlikely to me you did anything wrong. There are a couple of things here; he hasnt got closure from his previous relationship and he started to have feelings for you. Now falling for somebody else is a final act of closure; an admission its really over and he doesnt seem ready to have taken that step.
Secondly, he probably on some level blames himself for his wife having an affair so maybe feel he doesnt deserve to be happy. Thirdly, even if that is not the case the most obvious cause of what he did is fear that although you make him happy that will end just like his previous period of happiness did.
I dont think there is anything wrong with letting him know you are still around but push too hard and you will just drive him further into these emotions. He has to deal with these emotions on his own terms. Maybe leave it for a bit...let him wonder where you have gone. Good luck :)
|
