A
male
age
30-35,
*ermaineh
writes:The thing is i don't know whether im gay. I have posted on here before and people have told me that they don't think im gay but i can't get it out of my headI have recently found a lot of men handsome looking, and when they aren't clothed on tele or something i feel a bit turned on. This doesn't make me happy though and i find it disgusting. Not that i find gay people disgusting, just that i could never see myself with another guy kissing and having sex.The problem is, that I sometimes have gay thoughts that come into my head, which I don't like and try to get rid of but they come usually at night, when im trying to get to sleep. I'm not fantasizing because these are involuntary thoughts, but they are still there. I can't seem to connect with girls either, i find some sexually attractive but very selectively. And when i was younger i used to really be into girls that were attractive quickly if i got to know them but now i feel like we are just mates with most girls. What is worrying me is that the other day I found my best mate attractive. It scared me badly and although I couldn't imagine us together or kissing i am now really worried.I am sorry this is so long but i couldn't help it.Any advice will be much appreciated.
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male
reader, jermaineh +, writes (5 April 2007):
jermaineh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would just like to say thanks for the help.
As for the suggestion of experimentation i don't think i could do it, it just doesn't appeal to me at all. Although i do think a lot a celeb males are good looking and at the moment have gone off girls, i still couldn't imagine myself with a guy.
I just hope this is a phase because i know i would never have a relationship with a man and i dont wanna be a loner
A
female
reader, Anianca  +, writes (30 March 2007):
Hi,I kind of know where you're coming from, cos I went through a phase a year or two ago of being highly attracted to my best friend, and at times other girls (I still am attracted to that friend, but that's another story). I would definitely say that at this age, it's very normal to have crushes on or feel attracted to members of your own sex, even if you're not gay. Also, many of my friends are quite selective in who they're attracted to.So basically, I wouldn't say you're necessarily gay, but most importantly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Relax about it, and you'll come to terms yourself which sex you're attracted to (or if you're attracted to both). I would agree that experimentation can be helpful, that's how I came to the eventual decision that I am what you could call straight (though I have a crush on one girl).Don't worry about labels too much. Don't try to supress any feelings or thoughts you have either, it'll only make you anxious about it. Just go with the flow, and with time it'll become evident to you what your preference is. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007): sound like you could be although you doubt yourself and seem very confused. just one thing, if these thoughts of attraction to males occur far more frequently than the equivalent thoughts to girls then you may be more attracted to men. if the urges are strong but conflict with what your concious tells you to want resolve it rather than burying a head in the sand, either way your attractions could change again in time, sexuality can be quite fluid so dont pigeonhole yourself too early. the important thing is to try out both (if you can feel comfortable doing so) and see which you like better. thats what i would do. thers no harm in having sex with a man, as one of my strait friends put it "its a good way to kill curosity". i am for the most part into men but lately i feel i want to explore what women have to offer in the same way many men have a bit of cock on the side of mostly female based sex lives. i'm just getting currious and think that it could lead to very fun multiple person experiences in the future. anyway deal with your feelings, dont ignore them or you could lose ten years or more of you life not knowing what you want. do what feel right to you not others, explore-the time is now!
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A
female
reader, Lady tinks +, writes (29 March 2007):
 The important thing is that you come to terms with your sexuality if you are , its nothing to be ashamed of. Its quite normal for people of your age to wonder about their sexuality as the hormones are raging and your growing up and making your own decisions about life and who you want to be. Its probably just a phase but if you feel you need to talk again, dont hesitate to contact me under lady tinks. All the best hun x x x
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