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What is this older man thinking?

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 23 January 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi Agony Aunts. What conclusions can be made from this?

I'd been seeing a 27 year old for a while. I had only just recently turned 18. I decided to take things veryy slowly with this man as I wasn't too happy with the age gap, but sadly began to fall for him after a couple of months. Only then to find out he had been trying it on with young girls.

I was told by an acquaintance of his, that he came onto her 15 year old daughter recently (before we were dating). He was asking for her number and asked her to kiss him. Apparently he was very charming to her, just as he was with me.

She told me not to get involved with this man as she was suspicious of his intentions.

I think it's disgusting how he tried it on with an innocent 15 year old. He seemed to thrive off innocence and girls with their virginity; the reason why I think he pursued me for so long. When we were at his place he said I was very 'naive' and 'sheltered'. This was before he got me into bed to grope me. He said "Those boobs are mine now". I told him I didn't like it although when I woke up next to him in the morning he did it again. He said to me "you don't like it because no-ones ever done it to you before". I felt so uncomfortable, I actually woke up shaking. I'm just so relieved that I didn't lose my virginity to this man. He seemed disappointed the morning after and shiftily walked ahead of me as he took me to the taxi rank, he then walked off into the distance. But he text me soon after saying "you can wake up next to me anytime darling".

This man has 2 young children from a past relationship. I understand that has messed him up emotionally as he doesn't see them. But Surely he should have some care or level of respect for others. Why do what he's doing? Why so disrespectful? I can't bring myself to understand his actions. I feel so stupid for falling for him.

View related questions: boobs, older man, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your advice aunts & uncles x

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (22 January 2012):

Honeypie agony auntEwww what a mega creep!

Stay away from him, ignore his texts and calls. Block his # if you can and move on, STAY AWAY from guys like him. He is trying to groom 15 year old? How disgusting.

There is nothing in what you wrote about him that makes him attractive.

Learn from this mistake.

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A female reader, Aunty Susie Australia +, writes (22 January 2012):

Aunty Susie agony auntChalk it up to experience, and just be glad that 'stupid' is all that you are feeling. It could have been much worse. Don't try to figure him out, just move on, quickly. And in the future, always trust you gut instinct, you felt that the 'age difference' was an issue; it was more likely the creep issue that you were sensing.

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A female reader, Caramel1990 United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2012):

Girl Shall i remind you your age and im not saying it because of the age difference its cause you can do soo much better than him he does not deeserve you at all. His a 27year old MAN looking to emotional wreck young girls by the sounds of it. Its such a good thing that you havent slept with him aswell as that would make the situation a whole lot worse so get out og it while its "easy". Your young and you have plenty of time to find Mr right dont rush things girl. As for him dump him :)

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A female reader, natasia United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2012):

natasia agony auntConclusion: he is a greaseball.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2012):

Who cares what he is thinking? Just stay away from him for good- tell him to leave you alone and not to contact you anymore- if he does you'll get a restraining order.

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