A
male
age
41-50,
*ed Sensation
writes:My girlfriend broke up with me two months ago after a relationship of 2 years. She is Canadian studying in Frankfurt, I am Austrian living in Luxembourg. We had a long distance relationship, seeing each other every weekend.When we met, she gave me the impression that she had been "around". She admitted having had many short relationships and many lovers. This kind of set me off. Nevertheless we got along very well and we both fell in love. As time passed I saw that she was a good person but also very impulsive. With her sexual past in mind and the things she told me, I got afraid and something inside me told me to not trust her fully.We had many fights regarding jealousy, mostly initiated by me. This made her freak out (lots of drama). Nevertheless, the relationship was very passionate and despite the continuous fighting, we were both in love. I never have been so crazy about anyone in my life. We planned a future, talked marriage and children.Both of us are Alpha personalities, both independent persons with a strong will. We both are good people but we have our negative sides. I am judgemental and she is impulsive/dramatic. We broke up several times. When I broke up, she always came back crying, when she broke up, I did everything to win her back so we always ended up back together with lots of passion.Two months ago she broke up for good with me after another fight. She told me she could not be with me anymore. I was worn out by all the drama too and I left her alone. In the mean time I went in therapy to ask for a third opinion about myself and our relationship. I didnt hear from her in two months and missed her terribly.She called me two weeks ago. She obviously misses me as much as I miss her. She asked me whether we could see each other, which I refused. I want peace and quiet now and am sick of the drama. And I am afraid to go back, just to fail once again.I love this girl very much and I know she loves me. It terribly hurts not to have her around. The problem is that once we are together, we both become so passionate but also very unstable. I believe that both of us want a lot of attention and we both try to get controle over the other person.I do not know what to do. I love this woman so much but at the same time I have never had such an unstable relationship. Is there anyone with some positive advice?Many thanks :-)
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broke up, fell in love, jealous, long distance, sexual past Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 I think you have to play this out. Whatever anyone tells you, you are only going to let your emotions rule your head. Can you both strike a bargain with which you both can live? Tempestuous relationships are magnificent and also torture.
I think you need to forge a more lasting relationship if you are considering children. It doesn't sound like you two are ready to provide a stable long-lasting home in which to raise them. Don't ever think that having children will make everything all right.
Does that help? I hope so.
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