A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What is the male equivalent of a feminist?I know officially it is about women having equal rights to men which of course is correct but i think in todays society it is thought of (and a lot of people that call themselves feminists think of it as) being almost an anti-men thing. Uneducated self-proclaimed 'feminists' will often think of men as being the unpleasant sterotypes that are put on them and will use there status as feminists to put forward the notion that women are better than men albeit sometimes in the form of a belittlment or wrongly socially accepted sexist humour eg. i have seen 2 examples on seperate occasions on a gameshow where a woman has said of course i can do it better than him i'm a woman...subsequent cheers from the audience. The same thing was said by a man a few weeks previous and the audience booed and everyone i was watching with said what a sexist pig he was...surely the same petit humour was implied by both...either it is bad or good!? this happens a lot throughout everyday life it seems where one thing is accepted by one gender or social group and yet not another.So i am genuinely interested if there is a male equivalent to modern feminism or if that would just be considered chauvinism... i fear that this may be the case!please, i would be very interested to hear any comments :) thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): I could list all kinds of excuses for why I think women are at fault for their own problems too.
But I don't.
The two genders are different and I don't blame either one for being what they are. I don't blame women for naturally being women. I think that a lot of women blame men for being men though.
What I blame women for is not being fair about the situation. Women have basically decided that everything is men's fault in recent decades. A problem that men have is men's own fault and a problem that women have is also men's own fault. This, dispite women gaining ground and controlling more all the time.
The great example: Income.
If women makes less than men, then it's viewed as a problem and one that is men's fault. Women have demanded that this inequality be rectified and they have made MAJOR progress on it. That's fine so far.
But here's the problem: As a whole, women have not given up the demand for husbands of equal or greater financial status compared to their grandmother's generation.
And when faced with the impossible situation this must create, most of the women I have ever come across will just blame the men in their lives for failing to financially achieve like they have.
In this financial area you see women wanting it all ways, all the time, and they STILL blame men when faced with the downsides that this situation logically must create.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): A feminist is a person who supports the equal rights and equal treatment of women. The male term for a feminist is, quite simply, a feminist. To expound further upon this topic, men *are* discriminated against on occasion - no-one is denying that. However, I would argue that, on the whole, for whatever reasons, men have had it, and still are having it, easier than women.Consider this:-In school, to quote an article I found, "while a smaller percentage of girls than boys actually bully others, a higher percentage of girls are bullied. Not only this but whilst boys are generally bullied by other boys, girls are bullied by children of both sexes."-A gender pay gap still exists - and it's not all to do with women having children, either. Google this if you like.-Since you're from the UK, I would say that, even in this country, street harassment (catcalling, etc.) is still a problem if you're a woman. Especially if you're walking alone, which is why a lot of men probably don't notice it.-Women suffer from more domestic violence than men. According to a study, "at least one out of every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime."-Surveys have shown that an alarmingly large proportion of people, both men and women, have thought it alright for a man to hit his wife if she did such things as nag him or wear "revealing" clothing.-Women are objectified in mainstream society to an extent that men are undoubtedly not.-Attitudes towards rape are extremely alarming; a great many myths abound, such that "the majority of women lie about being raped" (the conviction rate is under 10%), or "it's not rape if she's my girlfriend." -It's also noticeable that a lot of men seem to find rape jokes - "get her drunk to get her in bed," etc., acceptable. Research has shown that joking about usually "taboo" topics actually makes people desensitized to them and more accepting of them. And, especially due to porn, violence against women in general is often eroticized.-For a large part of human history, women have not been able to choose whom they marry or to work. In fact, two centuries ago, women didn't even have the vote.-In many countries around the world, I think it would be foolish to say that women are not vastly discriminated against (female genital mutilation, human trafficking, or being raped considered a "crime" spring to mind, to name a few things)Men and women are not entirely equal, true; men are usually physically stronger, whilst women can have children. But this does not make one gender inherently "better," especially considering the fact that, nowadays, physical strength is not such an advantage, and not everyone is perhaps so eager to raise a family. Furthermore, the conception of feminists as "man-hating bra-burning" lesbians not only ignores the true meaning of the word feminist but is, in my experience, entirely not true. I certainly don't hate men - that is like saying that all gay rights supporters hate straight people.I am sorry if you've experienced sexist humour, and I certainly don't condone it. However, let me stress once again: feminism is not about taking men's rights away. It's about giving women the same rights.Hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): What would it hypothetically take to make men no longer be viewed as the more privelidged gender these days? Do they have to become less than 50% of the population and voters? Check.Do they have to become statisically less happy than women? Check. Work more dangerous jobs? Check. Have less career satisfaction? Check. Do worse and graduate less in all levels of education? Check. Be more imprisoned? Check. More likely to be the victims of violence? Check. More prone to suffer from mental illness? Check.Have shorter life expectancies? Check.Higher suicide rates? Check. Earn less money? The salary capabilities are pretty close to tied, but women currently SPEND about 2/3rds of all the money in the culture. So I just want to know, how much worse do things have to get for guys like me before things become "equal?"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): It is a given that women had been undervalued, mistreated and often ridiculed by men for years.
Knowing that, and how much it hurts, why do they do it to men?
Surely women would realise how unfair such behaviour is, having suffered it themselves, and would not want to make the same unkind mistakes now, in this more egalitarian world?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Your asking a politically charged question... that is, what is the term for a nonsuppressed group of people who want to exert a presence in an effort to not get overtaken by the minority... kind of like asking where the NAAWP chapter office is... It's one thing to mobilize to correct a social injustice, but another to form a similar group to balance the tide when the boats have all floated. I'm not sure we'll even need a NAAWP, but that assumes that we can end descrimination and quit providing favorite status for the formely opressed.I have no answers on this one... I for one enjoy women being equal in my profession, and would hate working in an all male enviroment (which happened 25 years ago when I graducated college)... now I'm in a 50/50 split workplace, run by a strong woman.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I think what tends to happen is that social expectations bounce to the other extreme before (hopefully) finding the comfortable middle ground. So since women had many restrictions in life 40 years ago, the whole process of breaking free from that has now taken expectations too far in the other direction right now, so in the eyes of some women, equality almost means them having the upper hand. This makes it a particularly difficult time to be a man I think, but I predict that over the next 20 years or so, it will become more balanced. Hope that makes sense!
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A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (21 September 2009):
 Not sure. It doesn't seem to be acceptable in today's world for men to even have a word for that. Either you believe women are superior in every way, or you're a brute. Women get to call the shots in a relationship, then if they leave get to take the kids and house, and get alimony and support, and men can't do anything about it. If there's a fight, first question is always "what did he do?" If someone sleeps on the couch, it's going to be the guy. And yet even bringing this up will often result (in my experience) in women glaring at me for even suggesting that men matter as much as women.
Heck, even my last girlfriend felt that it was my job to be there for her but heaven forbid she be supportive of me. Heck, my last two girlfriends expected oral sex but refused to return the favor.
It's been my experience that men DON'T matter. We AREN'T as good, or as smart, or as useful, or as important as women. I'm starting to believe them. I know that at least I don't matter, since I'm a man. It's apparently my role to serve women until they no longer have use for me.
So what's the term for a person that thinks that while women are at least as good as men, men are as good as women too? "Naive idealist"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Bravo, Celtic Tiger. A wonderful rant, and I find little with which to disagree.
If the OP is indeed looking for a male equivalent to the hard-bitten, anti-male 'feminist', then chauvanist is probably the correct term, as in the old 70s expression "male chauvanist pig."
My wife is a professional who holds a position in her firm that would have been unusual, if not unthinkable, 30 years ago. I have daughters, and I fully expect they ought to be free to rise to the level dictated by their skills, ability and merit in whatever field of endeavour they choose. I have no patience for men who think the only role for women is to be barefoot and pregnant. Nor do I have any patience for women who take offense at having a door held open for them, for being offered a seat on a crowded bus, or who take umbrage if their child's school assumes her surname is the same as the child's.
Some years ago I took issue with my sister over the term 'feminist', thinking it only applied to the sort of anti-male stuff you describe. She seemed unaware that the term had been hijacked, and really thought of it as a synonym for 'humanist.' She seems to think we're equal and just need to learn to get along. I have no argument with that.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (21 September 2009):
 Yep, I think it is 'chauvanist', though that's not what a dictionary would tell you. To me 'feminism' started as a social trend towards women being valued as much men were, and fair enough too, because men were a bunch of out-of-control egomaniacs who generally over-valued themselves, not to mention that they were seriously deluded about women's intelligence,(and obviously in certain cultures they still carry on like that), but somewhere along the line things became twisted and out of control. From what I gather most "feminists" are a bunch of women who really aren't that smart, (and definitely aren't forward-thinking), and who screwed things up for those of us who liked being the 'fairer' sex. The thing that always makes me snigger about feminists is that they so often try to compete with and behave like men, which means that deep down they think that men ARE superior to them. Kinda dumb if you ask me. :)
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (21 September 2009):
 Personally I think men are treated really badly in the modern world. I agree with you, that in the media and popular culture it is considered ok to take a pop at men, be it their intelligence, inability to do things, or just for having balls and a penis.
Now, I am all for equal rights, please dont get me wrong. I think that the turn of womens rights to the vote, and to be equal to men was a great thing. The sufferagets sacrificed a lot to enable women to vote, the contraceptive pill revalutionised womens lives, and enabled us to take control of when and how we had children. This was all fantastic, and it has enabled the world to progress. However, I now feel that women are going too far. (on a side note, we all know what the hormones from the contraceptive pill are doing to the fish in the water. Turning them all female!)
There are so many women who go around man-bashing, and yes, sometimes it is justified, if a man is a particular arrogant pig, then yes he deserves it, but on the whole, it is just women wanting to get the upper hand. If a man tried to put down a woman he would immediately be slapped with a sexism law suit. Men just cant win.
It scares me, (as a woman) that a vast proportion of my sex, is now taking this hard fought for power too far. They are now trying to dominate and become the more powerful sex. It is almost like they want to punish men for the centuries where men were considered superior. This isnt modern mans fault, its just the way things were in the past, and I think it is totally unfair. Ancient societies had very different priorities. Men had their roles, and Women had theirs. They were very well defined. And I think this is the problem. In the modern world, the boudaries between the gender specific roles have become blurred. It is now considered ok for a man to do a womens job, or a woman to do a mans job. BUT, it is far more common to see women doing "male" jobs. In fact, it is probably encouraged. So noone really knows where they fit any more.
It now appears that the whole of modern society is now weighted towards women. Divorce settlements are a case in point. A man might have worked very hard for a decade, only to divorce his wife of 2 years, and then she ends up with half, with a hefty slice of his pensions. For doing what exactly? Can she not work? Will she not be able to support herself? why should he hand over money he earnt before he even met her? (The Macartneys being a case in point). Where is the femanine self-supporting stance then? Oh no, they are out for all they can grab. I cant remember any divorce settlements where the man has been entitled to half the womans earnings? A lot of modern women are selfish, and superficial.
I think in the modern world women want it all. We want to have our cake and eat it. We want the career, the children, the big house, the happy husband etc etc etc BUT, we are not prepared to sacrifice anything for it. WE WANT WANT WANT (I hate that word). We think, hey, men can have it all, why cant we? With new technology, it is now possible for women to get pregnant without actually sleeping with a man. I think this is so sad, and so terribly wrong when used for the wrong reasons. (obviously it is fantastic for couples who cannot concieve, but for single women who dont want a man about.. I worry). We forget, that we are humans, we are part of the animal kingdom, and we are biologically programmed to reproduce in a certain way to continue the species. Essentially we are animals, yes we are intelligent and evolved animals, but essentially we are the same. Men and women are designed to work together, not against each other. I feel that we should remember this more.
Men and women are equal. We both have wonderful things to give, and by working together we can have it all. BUT we need to work together as partners, as a team. SOmetimes that may mean sacrificing things, which we may not want to do, but partnerships are all about give and take. Its not about the man giving and the woman taking or vice versa. We are not all solo players fighting out to be top dog.
We are a team!
I love men, and I cannot imagine being in a world without them. Yes, you might irritate the hell out of me sometimes :) but I am sure us women do the same to you. Neither sex is perfect, and we should remember that before we go bashing the other.
Sorry for the rant!
Tiger x
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