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female
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anonymous
writes: When I ask this I mean an age. What age is proper for sex like 1 night stands? I think 18. But my freinds seem to think differently.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (17 March 2006):
 There is no such thing as a proper age for one night stands. It depends on the person and thier own emotional maturity or beliefs
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female
reader, Kelly78 +, writes (17 March 2006):
Hi girls/boys!
This is a pretty old thread but hey I thought I would add my tuppence worth anyway.
I'm twenty-seven and the first one night stand I had was on New Years Eve. The guy seemed very happy to be with me during the night and in the morning said he wanted to go out sometimes - even kissed me goodbye. Then a couple of phonecalls before he decided never to speak to me again. I was very confused and hurt and decided I would never allow myself to be used like that again. Anyway I was at a friend's party the other week and a beautiful man pursued me and spent the whole night trying to get me to sleep with him - but I kissed him and nothing else. Suffice to say, in the morning he left without even saying goodbye. I was disappointed but glad I didn't fall for it. Beware girls - men will say/do anything to get you into bed and for the most part you should bear in mind that for most men sex is purely physical and doesn't seem to carry the same emotional committment as it does for women. So hold off until you know the guy a little better - because you deserve to have sex in a loving relationship. One night stands are cold.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2005): Actually I have consitered pregnancy and STD's I ALWAYS have a condom with me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2005): By wanting 'one night stands', all I have to say to you is please don't become someone who's life is so lonely and unhappy, that she wants desperately to be loved and will pay almost any price to have it happen. Why would you settle for almost near-nothing?? One night stands and casual sex will enable many guys to ignore you and only use your body, when he has an uncontrollable itch to fill. Selective dating and refraining from giving yourself just to anyone who wants you just for sex can go a long way towards maturing you into the kind of dignified, respectable woman you really want to be. Not just an empty husk or a depository for some man's sperm. On top of all this, you will have to practise "super safe" sex...to ward off diseases and pregnancies. Lots to think about.
Remember dear, there are tons of truly loving men out there who are considerate and thoughtful, not self-centered and hurtful. They are the loving, kind, and caring men who place their loved one at the center of their lives. Wouldn't it be so much more wonderful, to work hard at finding the right guy for you? The one you give yourself to, after time and experience the beauty of emotional and physical love combined. Guys who want sex on the first dates are a dime a dozen. They only care about fulfilling their own needs. You deserve better. Good luck and take care
Hugs, Irish
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female
reader, CrazyCatLady +, writes (25 November 2005):
I don't think there is any one age that is proper for something so life-changing as having sex. Of course, you would need to be mature enough to handle the consequences of your actions...have you thought about pregnancy, about birth control, and STD's?
Then there are the questions about your relationship with your SELF. Do you think you could handle sharing your body with someone, only to never have him call you again? Because that is the definition of a one night stand. If you are lonely and want to have sex with someone, hoping he will stay with you...please think about what you are doing very carefully. Men who have one night stands rarely consider the girl their girlfriend, and with younger men, the probability that you are going to be just a "booty call" is likely higher than if you were, say, in your late 20's or 30's when men are more ready to settle down.
It can be hard when all your friends are having sex, (or lying about having sex to look cool)and you are the only one who is not. Most of my friends back in high school had sex when they were about 16. Is that the right age? For one of them, she had been with her boyfriend since eighth grade, they got married after graduation, she felt like it was. The other two of my friends got dumped, and were totally heartbroken. One of them felt so used and depressed, she started sleeping with ANYONE and got a really bad reputation.
So, it really depends on the maturity of the person, the maturity of the guy she is planning to sleep with, and really, what you want out of life. Could you feel good about yourself if you slept with a guy you liked, then found out that he went to a party the night after, and slept with some other girl? Would you be able to handle that or would that really, really hurt? If you meet a hot guy, and start fooling around with him, and he doesn't want to use a condom...do you have the self-esteem to say "NO WAY" or would you give in? If you don't know, then you are not ready. Or think about this, because this has happened to me...I had a one night stand with a guy I'd been crushing on for a whole year. The next day, I felt awesome, he had been SO sweet, I was sure he was going to call me...he told me he would. Well, one week later and no call, I ran into his friends...all of whom were hitting on me like mad, it was disgusting. He had told them I was an "easy lay." Now that hurt. A lot.
In the end, YOU are the only one who is going to have to live with yourself, and with your decisions. And you know, sometimes, your friends might be feeling bad about their decisions and trying to pretend sex was a lot better than it really was. Because then, if you have one night stands too, they won't feel so bad that they did.
Sex is a major thing...you are sharing your BODY and maybe even a bit of your soul, with someone else. How do you deserve to be treated? How will you know if the guy you want to have a one night stand with will be respectful, or will he dog you all over town? There will always be another chance to have sex, believe me, there is no rush...life is full of them. But you can never take back something you have done, it is impossible to change the past. So, whatever your decision (and it is YOUR decision, no matter what anyone else says) make sure you are doing what you feel is right inside. Make sure you have thought about all the consequences, and are confident that you can deal with any of them that might come up.
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female
reader, heartcry +, writes (25 November 2005):
There is never a right age for one nite stands, coz one nite stands shouldn't even be happening? Why do want to have a one nite stand? It will only hurt you. Don't believe those movies that make it seem like it's fun, it's not. Don't deprive yourself of giving your body to the one and only man, your would-be husband, it's the best gift any woman can give. Giving it to a complete stranger on a one nite stand, you may thought it was pleasurable for the moment, which is what, a 5 minute pleasure. But it wil become a life time regret if you do it now. So, please don.t, give yourself a higher value than that.
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