A
male
age
36-40,
*loser
writes:my girlfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago. we have spent alot of time apart now considering that we used 2 live together and spend every second of every day together. we met up again (which isnt the first time since we've broken up) and today went really really well. we enjoyed our time together and had a real good laugh. i miss her so much and would get back with her.we ended up kissing again and then she said that she still loves me and is more attracted to me than anyone else she's ever met before.after kissing we ended up sleeping together again. until now she has been sayin that she needs just a little bit more time to herself and to find herself.today she said things such as:-if we're gonna get back together we're gonna have to take things really slow-i still love you and always will do-there's no one that i've ever been as attracted to as you-i tried to not get with you today but the attraction and love is still so strong-i want you but need to be 100% sure that you are what i want as i dont want to turn around in 2 years time and say id wished id lived MY life a bit more-i would like it to be friends just at first so we can take things slowly.what do you think will happen?i miss her, i love her, she's the most important thing in my life. please give me advice as to what anyone thinks shes thinking and what i should do to help her get back with me
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): let her go dude, go NC straight away, and by that i mean: delete all her photos, contacts, myspace, facebook MSN EVERYTHING!!!!! NC MEANS NO CONTACT! This will be by far the hardest thing you will EVER HAVE TO DO IN YOUR LIFE (trust me i just went through this) but This will give you time to heal and give her time to miss you and realise that breaking up was a BIG mistake, or maybe realize what DECISION SHE WANT TO MAKE BASED ON YOUR FUTURE TOGATHER IE: If she wants to be with you in the future or she wants it to be over with FOR GOOD. REMEMBER if she does not come back to you then its not ment to be, but if she does then CONGRATS and BEST OF LUCK FOR THE FUTURE. I would advise NC all the way buddy... GOODLUCK!
A
male
reader, closer +, writes (17 December 2008):
closer is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPoster of question writing here. Spoke to my ex the day afta we met and she said that she wasn't promising anything would happen.she said she needed to be really selfish and think about her and find herself. She also said that she didn't want to promise that I'd be what she wanted at the end of the road (her time to herself). She also said that she still thinks of me all the time still. She said she doesn't want to be with me now but she doesn't know for the future???!!!I then said to her: so u want me to let u go then so u can b free?and she wouldn't answer.she just said I should think about myself for a while. When she spoke to a friend of both of ours a week ago she said that she doesn't just want me to think I can have her back. She hasn't been with anyone apart from me since we broke up and she says that she's not interested in any of that unless it's with me. Then yday she said at times she thinks it could be good for us to be with other people, yet she isn't coin to for now and will lemme no if it changes. How can she say all of the things mentioned in my first post and then say this? Am
I being played? Does she genuiinely need time(we did spend evry day together for three years?)is she just keeping me there incase she chnqhes her mind?y isit she goes hot and cold?please help with your replys!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 December 2008):
Sounds like she really sees you as the guy to marry, but she wants to go out and have fun first so she's not bitter about it later on.
Be her friend and if you are prepared and strong enough then tell her she can go and have a fling or something before she "settles down" with you.
If you can't stand the thought of it though, don't do it just to make her feel better. It'll cause more problems in the long run.
Take it slowly and be her friend but don't wait around forever.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, sc08 +, writes (15 December 2008):
From what you say she is still very much in love with you, but perhaps is just a little wary of the future... That is something that all young peope go through.maybe that is something to do with the circumstances surrounding your break up it's hardto say without knowing the reasons.
Just make sure that now she has said these things to you that u make ur own feelings clear about how much u care for her, all she needs is time to get her head sorted and from what u have written I'm confident the pair of u can work things out whether it be in 12 days Or 12 months if you believe she's the one and is worth waiting for then let her know you're prepared to wait.
Sc
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