| A
age
51-59,
writes: I wrote this for someone else in a discussion about what is love...this is my 1000th post. Salutations to you all, its been a fun journey. Hugs Star.x. What is real love... Love, has long been studied by artists, the clergy, scientists, philosophers, pretty much everyone and also I expect economists. So... what are their conclusions? Well many and varied for the artists, from the pictures and statues that we see to the bluebirds and pixie dust conjured by Hollywood, from the tragedies of Shakespeare to the poetry of Shelley. As for the scientists, people have been poked measured and analysed and dissected all in the name of love research. Companies have spent fortunes analysing and people have spent a million times more trying to capture it. So what is Love? Well, the results of all their efforts are, well embarrassing really for centuries of work – there is no magic formula, there is no great love words that makes you go wow. The results of the marketing show that people dig the marketing, but not necessarily the products, so what is Love? Scientifically there is the belief that we use it naturally to attract members of the opposite sex to procreate with and thus continue our own gene pools existence. Animalistic as it seems, this is not the romantic picture we have of love .... but what goes on – under the surface scientifically, we release chemicals into the blood to make us happy. Our sex hormones can kick in and we flood with testosterone and estrogens increasing our levels of lust and attractiveness. But this still doesn’t really tells us what is Love. We know love comes in different types and they all have different flavours. We know of Motherly love, religious love and national love, there is unrequited love, passionate love, platonic love, committed love and so many others. Which is which and what is love? However, hard we try the definition really eludes us. Not just the definition, but what does it actually do to us, to know we are in it? Really? Well.. for most people it gives a sense of completeness – however this is slightly wrong – to be able to be in love, real love, we need to be able know ourselves and to know the other person gives more to ourself than we do, and in return they are given as much if not more back, without ever asking. We know when that person is missing, as we are incomplete. (and if you know what is what and who is who then well done by now!) We possibly know we are there , when we spend our time either thinking constantly about the person or missing them and them you or equally don’t because we just don’t need to, we just know, and we know one thing, real Love is an emotion not a decision or a definition that works on paper. Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnon,
Valid points - To make those decisions - what do you need first? you need something to trigger it?
Whilst i agree this could be a chicken and egg story - you need the decision to encourage the emotions, which in turn need the emotions to trigger the decision. i disagree its one sided...
And no its doesn't equate to the first time love - you can have those feelings forever....
Star.x.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): I disagree, love is a conscious decision and requires commitment. Love is not a feeling, feelings are fleeting, transient.What you are describing as love being a feeling, is just the first stages of love which are fueled by brain chemicals, not hormones that give us that love "high". Less evolved individuals go from person to person seeking that intitial rush of new attraction, they never really know what true love is.Love is a decision to BE a person worthy of love. It is putting the other person above our own needs for the most part. It involves most of all "action". Love is as love does. It has nothing to do with feelings other than that we all seek harmonious loving relationships that feel good, but that isn't all that real true and lasting love is about.Love involves self knowledge and knowledge of our love partner as a seperate person with their own feelings, own experiences, own personality and even their own different values from ours. "That involves a lot of conscious decisions" not feelings. It involves compassion (which is an active state) not just love (feelings) for the other person.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): Well Done! I agree with you that love is an emotion, not a decision. But I have heard at least one professional in my life so just the oposite...that was make a conscious decision as to who we will love, and who we will not love. I have always disagreed with that statement.
We may choose who we will date, or who we will pursue, but the love part comes in when our emotions take over and the chemistry begins to take over our rational thinking!
That's why so many of us do "dumb things" in the name of love!
...............................
|
