A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had a comment from a stranger in a bar that I have an aura around me that it's hard for anyone to approach me. He said, despite the fact that you are very pretty, your face is the most unfriendly. That was an eye opening for me. I started to rememeber all the episodes that did tell me that this guy may be was speaking the truth. I went to a dancing place with my friend. She immediately started dancing with someone. And I just stayed at a table for at least 2 hours watching a show. Then at the end I crossed the room and sat at the bar hoping to catch my friends attention and go home. One guy started talking to me, and told me he was a friend of a guy who my friend was dancing with the whole night. I was a bit surprised that he never came and talked to me, but he said that he was a little affraid as I did look a bit upset with something. Which was absolutely not the case, actually I was quite enjoying the show. Then I went out for my other friends birthday, and one guy who she was dancing with asked her if I am ok. There were plenty other episodes that I remembered. I really don't get approached a lot by guys, that's true, not like my other friends, but I have some much younger friends and all of them are very pretty. So I thought that may be that's the reason why guys prefer them and not me. When guys come to us, and we start talking they seem to actually quite into me, ask and give me phone numbers and so on. But they don't seem to approach just me, it always starts with my girlfriends. Few days ago I was waiting at the bar for my friend, who was late at least half an hour. For all this time no one, I mean not a soul talked to me. As soon as she sat with me, a guy next to me started talking to both of us, and then actually the whole nite was not leaving my site.I don't understand what is that with me that make me look unapproachable. I am in my mid 30s, in a good shape, and I am looking to meet someone. My unapproachable look doesnt help the situation at all. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013): Well, it's certainly sad to see the old rules still alive at older ages. Smile. I detest the mere mention of the suggestion. But anyways, humans are social creatures. They would rather flock to one who is happy go lucky than one who is down in the dumps. I suggest you heed the dear Auntie.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 This works, although to be honest I had forgotten about it until I read your question, you will need to practice a little until it becomes natural ..... The SOFTEN approach.
S= Smile
O= open posture (no crossed arms etc)
F= forward lean (lean forward slightly)
T= Touch, not an invasive touch, you need to judge it, but a slight touch to elbow or shoulder, hand even, not a rub, just a quick touch to connect
E= eye contact
N= nod, not when people are talking to you, it signifies agreement, not a crazy nod nod nod, just a gentle nod when appropriate.
Try it for a few weeks and see how you go
Good luck
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