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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi, i'll try to be short but would appreciate advice. About a month ago i began seeing a girl, she's new in the city so didn't have many friends, we went out a few times had afew kisses but not much else. She broke up with her ex about 3 months ago after 4 years so i understood and was happy to take things slow, she said she wasn't ready for a relationship but was happy to hang out and have fun with the odd kiss and cuddle, I did ask her was i wasting my time and she said i wasn't and that she did like me. i stayed over in her place a few times but nothing major happened.anyway last week i left her place and everything seemed fine, we had our first kiss without having had any alcohol so i thought it was a good thing. Next day she wouldn't answer my calls etc. I coukdn't figure out what the problem was next day, she texted me saying that she told me she doesn't waant a relationship and that she's troubled at the moment and needs space and that if i want to be friends thats cool.I thought this is fine and said she can have all the space she needs. I just don't get where it came from. ive stayed away for the last week, i texted her to let me know wether she wanted to do something at the weekend and got a reply but only making small talk. I really like this girl and really don;t want to lose her but i think im fighting a losing battle, so really i'd just like peoples opinions on wether i should forget it, im thinking i'll leave it for another day and call her and try and get her to talk to me about it but i don't want to pressure her either.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): You're not fighting a losing battle - you've already lost the battle. This girl has just gotten out of a long-term relationship. She wants to remain single for the foreseeable future. Moreover, even if she did enter into a relationship with you, it would only be a rebound one - and you would be in the loser in all of this. Forget about her as a serious romantic possibility and find someone else to start a romance with, someone who really is available.
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