A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would like to know, what generally is the reaction of boyfriends on their girlfriends rape cases. Do they usually tend to leave her inspite of being in a long time relation or else accept and support her.What is the acceptance percentage so far.Incase if they accept her, is like before or with changes in behaviour.What will an ideal, truly loving boyfriend do?"No offence, but if guys can answer putting themselves in this situation; can derive some real answers. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): Remember, you are asking for opinions on an open forum.
"What will an ideal, truly loving boyfriend do?""
That person will love you and do what loving people do to someone who has been traumatized.
"No offence, but if guys can answer putting themselves in this situation; can derive some real answers."
From personal experience, my wife was raped before I knew her, so I can't tell you what I would do at this moment, but I've been through a lot with her and I'd not disrespect her for being raped.
My best friend from long ago was raped, more than one man.
One of my colleagues was raped in the late 80's at knifepoint in her hotel room.
One of my colleagues was raped as a child (male colleague).
Keep in mind this is an open forum.
Some people posting here might be rapists themselves. I have personally known three rapists myself, two of them were child rapists (which staggers me when I think of it as I have children, thankfully it was not my children who were raped). I must have known more, but don't know their actions.
Nobody, absolutely nobody, deserves to be raped, no matter what the circumstances are.
I'll quote the following from prior poster.
"It depends, if you get raped by someone you have been flirting with and I had warned you not to, it wouldn't be okay."
Nobody deserves to be raped. Nobody, at any time, regardless of what they are doing.
"However, if it's a really genuine case of rape, I would understand and support you."
All rape is a genuine case of rape. Even if you have been having an affair with a man, your are naked and having sex but don't want penetration, and he forces you to have sexual intercourse or oral sex or anal sex, it is still rape.
Rape is rape is rape. Rape is sexual activity without consent or against your will, whether you fight physically or not. I've told my son, "if you have your penis in a woman and she says "stop", you pull out and stop, anything else is rape."
Compare this (rape) and peoples attitudes with being beaten up or mugged without being beaten up. Nobody says, "you weren't mugged, you don't have any bruises", or "you weren't beaten up, you must have enjoyed it because you didn't fight hard enough before they kicked you while you were down and you don't have blood under your fingernails".
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): It depends, if you get raped by someone you have been flirting with and I had warned you not to, it wouldnt be okay.
However, if it's a really genuine case of rape, I would understand and support you.
I also encourage girls that have been raped to seek counseling because sometimes the residual feelings/fears of the rape make the relationship suffer and the guy then leaves you, not because you were raped, but because of he can no longer deal with the issues that come with the rape.
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A
male
reader, Neboraic  +, writes (1 November 2010):
I would be supportive, but i think that the type of men that use this site are the more caring, sensitive type so this is not a good representation of what most guys will think, although reports from girl about their boyfriends might be useful.
I think this is a good test for a guy, if he isnt supportive about this situation then he isn't right for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): Well, I don't really know the statistics on this but I can tell you what happened with me. I was raped by someone I trusted to be my friend at a time when I was very vulnerable and heartbroken. A year later I started dating my current boyfriend and one day I was finally able to tell him about what happened to me. When I told him at first he was really angry, wanted to kill the guy, but realized that being angry wasn't going to make me feel better. Instead, he told me he loved me and he was sorry I had to go through that. Honestly, he handled it way better than I thought he would. We have been together for a year and to protect my feelings he doesn't ever bring it up. He knows how much it hurt me and that I decided to put it behind me so he let it go too. This is the best thing he could have done for me because it is helping me cope. I hope this helps you decide whether or not to tell him. If this question is about you, Im sorry you went through this too. I know what you are going through, and just know if he really loves you he will be there to support you. If not, then he isn't worth your time.
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