A
female
age
51-59,
*ingerbean
writes:the other day my now exboyfriend surprised for lunch at work. my first reaction was whats wrong and then of course i smiled and was very happy but kept thinking i wonder why he is here. later that night he came by and spent the night i woke up and looked at his cell phone and something told me to look. well i found out that he had called another girl before seeing me and she wrote back saying she was sick. i found other texts one which said can't wait to put it in my mouth again. and other ones. i was crushed but didn't say anything the next day. later that evening i said to him you don't care about me i'am nothing to you.(not the first time i felt this way) he said that he is tired of my insecurties. we talked the next day and agreed to break up. the following day i texted him about all the messages i saw on his phone and thats why i said what said about not caring about me. he has not called or texted me anything why won't he talk to me? i'am in such pain and so hurt
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female
reader, gingerbean +, writes (3 April 2008):
gingerbean is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe have been together for almost 2 years. one of the text messages i texted him about was from another time i looked in his phone was from about 7 mos. ago and i didn't say anything but ask him if he wanted to see other people he said no i said i need 2 weeks by myself and he said he didn't want to but okay. so i gave him the benefit of the doubt and chalked it up as it was during the one time we broke up. well that has always stayed in the back of my head until the other day. i wish now that i would not of held on to it . but i guess he probably feels like i already knew so what now.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (3 April 2008):
Im sorry for what you are going through. Must be horrible to have broken up with your bf and then have to deal with the messages you found which make it sound like he was probably cheating on you.
How long were you in a relationship for? And for what reasons did you both agree to break up for?
It must be frustrating that he isnt contacting you back after you confronted him about the text messages. I think hes not replying because he cant justify or defend what he did. He probably sees no point since you guys are broken up as well.
I understand that despite what hes done to you, you still have a need to talk to him, to get some sort of closure. Try calling him or going over his house to talk. Yet be prepared that you may never get to get that closure from him. Sometimes we have to find closure ourself because our ex wont give it to us. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): Sometimes its hard to believe that you are actually alone and not with somebody. I was in a similiar position and I had to ask myself, suppose he catch a disease, am I willing to die for him? Do I actually see myself getting married to him, have babies with him or even worse having sick babies with him? You have to take a leap of faith and endure the pain, cry, eat some chocolate, but you need to move on for your future. This is just a peeble on the hill of life. Who knows you experiencing this pain will make you stronger for a better man who is waiting for you. That what happen to me. It takes time, but wounds heal. Let life take its course and be strong, you will survive.
K
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (3 April 2008):
 Hi,
sorry for this, but he won't talk to you because he knows he's been found out and that his lies have been exposed.
So he most likely has moved onto the next conquest. Just try and move on, why do you want to talk to him anyway, surely you don't want him back, you will never be able to trust him.
so just leave it be, put it down to experience, hopefully this is not a habit for you to meet cheaters, if it is try and see what it is in these guys that attracts you and steer clear.
There are men out there who believe in monogamy, you just need to find one. Good luck.
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