A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl a month ago. We had sex on the first meeting. She told me afterwards that she just came out of a one year relationship that tore her up emotionally. The following two days we led a warm, caring relationship, she always stood by my side during that time. She made me feel that she wants to be my girl.Then I left, I'm living in another city. I told her I wanna see her again soon when I'm back in her city. We talked on the phone a couple of times, she seemed happy with me calling her, but never picked up the phone herself. It was a little confusing. After 2 weeks I met her again, had a great night but I felt there was something wrong. She seemed more distant than when I first met her. It's hard to explain, somehow emotionally disconnected. The following time we talked on the phone again a couple of times, until we met again this week. After a long night with her I asked her if she she had sex with other guys since she met me. It was just a feeling I had since the first time I met her. She told me there were 4 (!!!) other guys, but there were only sex, a revenge thing for her last relationship where the guy cheated on her. I expressed that I don't like it. Later I tried to fall asleep but I couldn't. I just left her appartment while she was sleeping and here I am now. During the time that we stayed together she gave me hints that she can't go into another relationship so soon after her last one. The more I opened up to her, the colder she became. So I know I don't have a chance, I just need to understand her actions. Why is she doing this to herself? I'm a good guy, I want to make her happy, why doesn't she care about someone who wants to help her?
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male
reader, Advice_man  +, writes (18 August 2011):
 This girl is out her mind pal! What kind of a girl would sleep with 4 different men in 2 weeks? What kind of morrals and ethics does she has? Is this the type of a woman you want to be with? You said it, you are a nice, caring guy. She slept with you on your first date, and she most probably did the same with the other 4 guys! She led you on and made you think you are special! She never cared enough to pick up the phone and call you to say hi! She was cold when you opened up!
Stop lying to your self and wake up! Be a man! Such bad attitutes should not be tollerated. Cut any further contact and erase her number for your own sake dude. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (18 August 2011):
it sounds like she is just wanting a fwb with you if that is not what you are wanting i would tell her so if you carry on like this you will only end up getting hurt
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (18 August 2011):
 Yes you are a great guy. i can tell by the way you went about this. For her, she is simply on what they call the rebound. She has lost the man she was in love with and now seeks that love among others. You gave her that "love" and it filled a hole in her heart for the short time. She couldn't enter into anything serious with you because she was emotionaly unable to. This was because she had just lost her original love. She has a need to fill her heart when it breaks so thats why she chose the other guys as well. But, at this time, she needs a lot of healing and she needs to do that herself. For you, it may be best to simply walk away now. You could send amessage or telephone her and thank her for your time or you can just say thank you and we can continue as friends. That's all she can give at the moment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): She just came out of a 1 year relationship that tore her up emotionally. Then sounds like the guy ended it perhaps. Sounds like she doesn't wanna get too attached to any guy at the moment because she just isn't ready for that kind of commitment yet. Give her time and space. She hasn't got over that relationship yet and to jump straight into another one, it's gonna confuse her in a way.
I hope this helps you sound like a nice guy =)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): Simple, its too soon after her split,shes hurting. She's playing the field and enjoying sexual freedom. Thats her choice, I hope you used condoms that's all.I think shes been totally honest with you.
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