A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Does hugging tight, sitting on your boyfriend's lap , keeping your head on his shoulders, sleeping on his lap etc mean that the relationship is physical? Is this sex? if my boyfriend does all of this then does he love me or is it just lust? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): Vow, okay, understanding your sexual feelings and deciding when you are ready for sex is another big issue;
sometimes the pressure and or temptation to go further might get strong, BUT it is your choice when to have sex and with who, only when you are ready.
You are the one that decides how far along the road you want to go; you can stop at any time;
Part of growing up is to take responsibility for your own actions.
Be carefull and be cautious, but enjoy the hugging and kissing, the holding hands;
Have fun!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): Of course not. Hugging somebody dosen't mean you have to have sex with them. Having sex is a choice, you choose to have sex with somebody. You also choose not to have sex with somebody. It's like stealing. Your best friend might like stealing but you don't have to steal even though you see her doing it. If you remember that you are the one that makes choices, if it goes any further than this, or even a few kisses on the mouth. You must tell him to stop, because you choose not to do anything else that might lead to having sex. Take care of you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses. But as smiles suggested to keep the relationship "physical", dont you think it may ultimately lead to sex if we keep on being that close physically?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): According to the Universal Dictionary "physical" means: involving a great deal of physical contact;
I suggest you keep your relationship "physical";
What you described is not sex, no , it is just a normal healthy relationship;
BUT not sexaul; enjoy it the way you are; leave the sex for later;
I think this guy really cares for you and keep enjoying his company and the physical contact as is between you; refrain from doing anything that involves sex;
Have fun; Best wishes
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): This is physical contact and the begining of being intimate and getting closer in a relationship, it is not sex. Your boyfriend does this because he likes you, and you do it because it feels good and you like him. Forget about sex for the moment, at your age, hugging and holding is all you should be doing. There's nothing wrong, your doing well. Enjoy being with your young man, he sounds kinda nice.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (29 June 2008):
You are very young and no one has taught you the facts of life yet. I suggest you check out this website that will explain it....
http://www.tht.org.uk/informationresources/sexandsexuality/
Or do a google search to find out more.
Sex is not something you should do until you are in your late teens, so you don't need to worry about it for a good few years yet.
Hugging and being close is normal for teenagers and means you are boyfriend and girlfriend. But I would not say it is a physical relationship, because you are both fully clothed and just enjoying being close to one another.
As for love or lust....
Lust is where he only wants you for the physical stuff, so if he only hung out with you when he wanted to kiss you or try and his hands on you.
Love is more about feelings and caring about you.
To be honest at your age, neither is really going to happen. Just enjoy where you are at learn abut it all together.
Good Luck!! xx
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