A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im 30 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 10 years. We don't have any kids. How much sex would be 'normal'? Id say on average we probably do it twice a month. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (16 December 2017):
 I don´t think anyone can account for what´s normal. As for what feels like a good amount, that´s for the two of you to decide.
If you are not happy with the current situation, have a conversation about it as after 10 years, you should be able to talk about anything. Try to introduce some new special things. Try to spice it up. As I said; communication is key.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2017): It is what ever you are both happy with have a chat to your partner .. if neither of you are highly sexed it's fine .. I wouldn't see a problem with it at all .. as long as you are loving towards each other other times ..
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (16 December 2017):
 A sex drive between partners is a lot like a house's thermostat. Almost nobody likes the in-home temperature to be exactly the same climate, so it usually ends up being a compromise that both can live with.
In a sexual relationship where one person's sex drive is much higher and another's is lower, often there's an arrival at a compromise that recognizes the need in the higher sex drive, while not overwhelming and exhausting the one with the lower sex drive.
As for "Normal", a WebMD survey taken back in 2008 revealed this about married people:
Between ages 18-29, the average reported was 112 times per year, or 2-3 times per week.
Between ages 30-39, the average reported was 86 times per year, or about 7 times per month.
Between ages 50-59, the average reported was 69 times per year, or just over once a week.
I know you're not married, but having been with the same partner for 10 years is pretty darn close to it.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (15 December 2017):
 Normal for....
Couple A: 3 - 4 times per week
Couple B: Once per week
Couple C: Fortnightly
Couple D: Monthly
Couple E: Handful of times per year
Couple F: Rarely/Never
If you aren't happy with it, communicate. Where do you see your relationship going? Do you go on dates regularly? Do you want marriage and children in your future? Do you want more intimacy? Are you affectionate with each other?
After ten years together, you need a frank discussion about being on the same page.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (15 December 2017):
 Normal is what you are comfortable with as a couple. 10 or less times a year is considered sexless but other than that counselors are careful not to suggest any "normal". Comparing yourself to others is not very helpful.
FYI at over 50 with diabetes, I'm getting 4 times as much as you. My partner thinks it's a bit much, I think it should be a bit more.
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse +, writes (15 December 2017):
What's normal? The correct amount of sex is the amount of sex that a couple agree on. Some couples are many times a week, others do it far fewer times. The problem lies when one of a couple wants it more or less than the other. There's no point in telling them that you want the normal amount of sex and what they want is abnormal. At any point in your relationship sex drives will wax and wane but what matters is that you both try to listen each other's wants and needs.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 December 2017):
 I don't think there is a "normal" average, but... For me personally... it sounds low.
However, if this works for the two of you, then it works. If you aren't feeling fulfilled (sexually) or your partner is not feeling fulfilled, you two need to have a talk about it. Maybe have some date night, take turns finding ways to spice things up or what not.
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