A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone tell me what is a normal amount of sex or fooling around an average couple has in a week? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (17 February 2009):
 Look who's back, our Uncle Martini, yea!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): There's no such thing as 'normal'.
When you start a sexual relationship everything is new and exciting and the regularity could be as much as fifty times a week or more. It always settles down after the first flushes of lust to a more regular routine, perhaps two or three times a day after about six months and then it tails off even further.
Having sex to fulfil a need within the loins is frequent and frantic, but making love in the true sense is a lot less frequent as that frequency is not some sort of target figure that has to be aimed for.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): I find 'national studies' full of crap. However, I'm not saying that you're full of crap Mrs. Mom.
National studies are taken from a limited number of people who wish to submit to a questionnaire. That number could range from a few dozen, a few hundred, a few thousand. However, that number does not represent 'the average', since there is no such thing as 'an average'.
A couple of my friends had sex once over a period of five weeks due to work stress and time. Then one day, they had sex three times, then once or twice every day after that for weeks. Another friend of mine and his wife had sex once in one year and that was that. Another friend had sex with his wife once a month. Another friend, married for roughly 20 years now, is having sex with his wife roughly five to six times a week.
So tell me, what is the average? Exactly. It's too dependent on the couple.
Take me for example. When I was in my last relationship, I had sex with my girlfriend as often as we could, any time of the day, any place that was available, even when she was on the phone with someone. Mmm... Memories.
So does that mean we were 'abnormal'? Based on what? Based on who? Your mom and dad? Your grandpa and your grandma? Your next door neighbor?
Geez, if you want to jump his bones, go for it. Don't let 'national studies' influence how often you should get laid. No offense Mrs. Mom. I'm just using your national studies as a scapegoat.
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A
female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (17 February 2009):
 I found an article on line stating that on average, married couples nowadays have sex less than twice a week, which corresponds to what I've read in the past:
http://family.jrank.org/pages/1102/Marital-Sex-Sexual-Frequency.html
"More recent data, however, suggest that the amount of sexual activity between spouses has not continued to rise. According to a U.S. national study headed by sociologists Edward Laumann and John Gagnon (Laumann et al. 1994), most married couples have sex an average of seven times a month (this amounts to less than twice a week)."
However, I believe there's a wide range of what could be considered normal. More important than the average, how often do you want to have sex, and are you having it as often (or as infrequently) as you like to? Do your partners and your needs match up or not?
If they don't match up, this can create problems. I suggest you talk about it with your partner and try to understand each other's needs. That's the first step.
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A
female
reader, Lulu-Lemons +, writes (17 February 2009):
 That's a hard question answer. It depends on the people...Too much can eat away at the quality of the relationship and not enough can take away that sense of total intimacy... I think, planning out times in your date book of when to do it, is wrong, it should just feel natural.
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