A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I dont normally talk bout the fact that i am single but im on a very self destructive path and im not sure how to get out of it. I am 29 i have just seen so much badness. People cheat all the time. Its so common. Its after making me afraid to enter into a relationship. Ive met a nice guy recently. And i really do like him. But im just so afraid to like someone and put my trust in someone. I am afraid of getting hurt. I do know that everyone deserves a chance, but i just cannot go through another let down or disappointment. I know and i can see how silly this is but i cannot control the thoughts that go through my mind. This boy is ringin me and txting me now but i am not answering. I know he doesnt deserve this. he has done nothing wrong. But my corrupt mind see's the negative in everything. i am paranoid, i am jealous. and i do not know how to overcome this. i believe when someone says 1 thing that they mean another. If i was reading this post i can logically see how ridiculous it is. but i just cant move forward, i dont kno what to do. what if i lose out on something that could be great because my mind just cant overcome the wrong that could happen.
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male
reader, fzald  +, writes (22 December 2012):
I've come to learn that life is always about taking chances.Ask people you know how many relationships they've been in. Chances are, the majority will say they've been in several serious relationships. Even married people will say they dated quite a few people before finding "the one". In each case, starting the new relationship was a risk. Whenever we decide to start a romantic loving relationship, we take the risk that at some point, that relationship may fail. Many other things we all do in life are risks. When we get a job, there's always the chance that we will lose that job. Maybe the boss will turn out to be an ass, but also, the company could go out of business; layoffs could occur, and so on. When you buy a house, you take the risk that you'll always have the money to pay your payments; when a hardship hits and you suddenly can't make that payment, you will probably be begging for sympathy from a bank who's heard "that one" before. Even when you choose a career path in a university, there's the chance that by the time you graduate the job market dries up.The point of all of this is, a relationship is a risk like any other. Would you neglect taking a job because your boss *might* turn out to be a jerk? Would you avoid going to school because you *might* not get a job afterwards? Probably not. Certainly relationships are tougher because we invest ourselves emotionally and we lay our weakest and most vulnerable parts out there in complete trust of another person, but it's still the same principle at work.Stop rejecting this new guy. Talk to him, enjoy his company, and see where it goes. Once you and him are more comfortable, even as friends, you may get to the point where you can discuss your fears with him. If he does have a strong interest in you, he may even be willing to help you through this. You just have to make sure you're also working on it yourself. You said yourself that he hasn't done anything wrong, so give him a fair chance! He deserves that much. If you like him, let him show you what kind of man he is!You never know - you could end up with the sweetest guy in the world and wonder what you were ever worried about! Best of luck!!!
A
female
reader, oshin  +, writes (22 December 2012):
 Even there are girls who are flirt and not loyal.Does that mean every girls are same?All are cheaters? And are you from the same category? First ask yourelf.I can understand what are you going through.You should always try to move on from bad memories and learn the lesson from it.As you have told about this guy i.e he's a nice guy and he doesnt deserve this then why are you hurting both by yourself.Its not like you should jump into something which you are not sure of.Girl take your time to know this guy.Talking to him doesnt mean you should build a love affair.You can be friends with him and later on if you find he's the one then you know what step you gotta take right so...take it slow because you are not in hurry right.Hope this time you will have a happy ending...All d best
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