A
female
age
41-50,
*onaldson
writes:Am I unfit for relationships? I posted on this site a couple of months ago about a relationship in trouble which ended shortly after. It was painful but I was sure it was the right thing to do. Since then I've been trying to get on with things (I've come to realise that all I felt for my ex was powerful lust mixed with a large amount of wishful thinking) but I'm very lonely again. I've started chatting with someone else online and it's much more friendly than flirty but I'm really cautious. i don't want to make the same mistake twice. I keep thinking I should just leave relationships alone for a good long while but I'm so terribly lonely (and I'm not getting any younger). What if I'm doomed to fall into these lonely lust traps (!) again and again? How can I trust myself again? I don't want to hurt anyone else by fooling myself and them into thinking I'm in love. Should I just stay alone for a few years?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): Just be really careful even if you make friends with them first. I had an amazing friendship with this guy for ages, only for him the minute after we slept together to start ignoring me and I put up with it for another 1 1/2 months. He turned from a loving friend into someone very cruel and selfish. I saw no hint of this in our friendship so I'm saying even if you go the friends route, you have the possibility of having your fingers burnt!!! Yet I have a friend who slept with her partner far sooner than I did with mine and couldn't have been in love so quickly and yet they are still together 7 years later so it just goes to show either way can work or not work.
A
female
reader, PoSiOnKiSS +, writes (11 April 2007):
 it takes time to fall in love with someone, and the lust is what brings people together. dont worry youll find someone soon, and you know what they say 'good things come to those who wait'.go out with your friends and get yourself out there and noticed and ya never know whose eye you might catch. good luck x
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