A
female
age
41-50,
*assy7613
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and everything has been awesome until we had a conversation yesterday about our pasts. About 7-8 years ago he had a threesome and had sex with a guy. We had a conversation a long time ago when he said he had curiosity about being with another guy. The conversation never went further...I think he knew I wasn't ready to hear this...I love him and I know that our pasts are pasts...but I can't get this thought out of my head that one day he may want to be with another man again. I could not handle that - I asked him if it had ever happened again or if he wanted it to and he said no, it didn't and no, he doesn't want it to. This man has never lied to me, always been completely open and upfront about him and his life...Deep down I believe him but how do I get rid of this idea or nagging thought in my head so we can get past this? Or am I being stupid and don't want to see the obvious?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): I suggest you get another boyfriend. This guy sounds like he is in the "closet" and maybe using you as his smokes and mirrors. Possibly there is a lot of pressure from family, friends yada yada, to project a heterosexual image. Anyhow if you want to avoid being put in a horrrible and painful situation in the future, I suggest you get a real man. Like my uncle Charlie used to say "once they go fa*, they never came back". I suggest you also look up the word "Passing". And I'm not talking about a college exam here by the way. I'm referring to the practice of a person pretending to be of a sexual orientation other than their real one, usually a homosexual or bisexual person who is pretending to be heterosexual.
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