A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello I need an advice, I am 27 years old and my boyfriend is 29, we have been together for 8 months, we started to have sex after the third month ( yes I know, I made to poor guy waited too much) but we always have sex using condom, he is my second sexual partner, I have only slept with one guy before him, and I want to get into birth control to be able not to use condoms anymore. I want to clarify that, that is something that I want to do myself, he didn't push me or anything, he says that for him with condom is fine, even if I don't want to have sex is fine for him, that he just want to be with me.The thing is that obviously I am not his first sexual partner, and I am ok with that, but I am afraid that he may have caught some STD before and don't know it and pass it to me. How can I approach this subject to him without hurt him. My boyfriend is not the typical "macho" guy that has has a lot of women, he has only been with a couple of women, and I am his first long and important relationship, any advice of how to approach this subject?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): hello I am the original poster of this question, and well thanks for the compliment of the anonymous reader, I think if everybody would respect yourself world would be a better place. I think you guys have give me a great advice, thank you very much
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): I hardly ever read about women like you who have common sense and a sense of self respect. And please do not ever think that waiting until 3 months is a bad idea - when you are ready you are ready. I know how you feel about condoms its like a mental trust when you begin to want total intimacy - suddenly despite their practical benefits they get in the way. It is perfectly possible for you both to get checked out - that way suggesting you both do this together kind of makes a commitment. Your guy sounds pretty steady so you could take a risk but by being open and honest you are actually saying I want to take things a stage further and want us to both know we are able to do this with confidence. If you tackle this subject with care and love he will understand.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (8 October 2008):
 Its mega sensible to both have tests before going bare back! There is noting wrong with doing this, and most sane people will do it these days. Its almost essential. He definately shouldn't take offence.
The way to broach it is say to him, its not you i'm worried about, its whoever you have been with before. And lots, if not most, STD's present no symptoms whatsoever, especially in men. Even though you have both been with only a couple of people up to now, who knows how many people your exes had been with? Catch my drift?
If I got serious with a guy and we discussed losing the condoms, I wouldn't be offended if he suggested we both have tests first. It only takes once and you could of caught god knows what. We've all read the true stories.
C xxxxx
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