A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm in my 40's and I like to play tennis. I've asked some ladies to play, and it's fun. (BTW I'm married, and most of them are too.)What I don't get, is why they never call/e-mail me to ask if I'm up for tennis. When I contact them, usually they sound very happy to play.Any thoughts?Thanks! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (21 June 2015):
 The ladies may have a very tight little group where they have played together for a long time. Are they open to new members joining the ladies at tennis or are they more of a tight long established clique?
Sounds like the men are more open to others joining them.
Could it be that there is one person in the ladies group who is more stand offish than the rest? She may be the block that prevents you from joining them regularly.
Identify the lady who seems most open and friendly and find a way to say hello and have a conversation with her. If you can have a few light conversations away from the ladies group then the real reason may start to emerge.
Some small groups have their own unique "politics" of their group that they make it harder for others to join their "closed" group. It should not be like that but sometimes it is.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, I'm the OP. Perhaps I wasn't clear enough.When I contact the ladies, we often play a game and have a good time.What I don't understand is why they never initiate contact with me to set up a game... (My male friends do contact me first sometimes for a game.)Thanks!
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A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (20 June 2015):
 They may think your are after more than a game of tennis, that's my feeling anyway
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 June 2015):
 If they do not follow up, my guess is... they are JUST being polite in agreeing to play a game of tennis.
Why not stick to asking male players for a while?
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