A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I joined a dating site and got talking with a guy we get on and his pic looked good , but when he sent me another pic after talking for a while he looked different. I'll probably sound shallow now but there has to be some kind of attraction , hes not got a decent set of teeth i dont expect celeb pearly sparkly whites but its like a couple missing n others chipped , he looks older and one thing that puts me off is long nails i think they are vile. I'm far from perfect myself but i make sure i look after myself .Now im worried that if i meet him and he likes me more than i like him and he makes a move ill have to stop him.I know i'll feel sorry for him and he'll be embarrased Do i just be honest and say i'm not ready and keep him as a text friend? or disappear? i feel stuck
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 June 2015):
 I wouldn't LIE to "spare" his feeling. I get that you don't want to hurt his feelings or come across as "mean". But I would tell him that you have thought a lot about it and you just don't feel you two have enough in common and you don't feel a spark.
IT IS not your fault that HE isn't taking care of himself to the point WHERE he can find a date.
A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (20 June 2015):
 You are not attracted to him, and that it is not your fault. You both presumably want to meet someone, so dont waste his time or any more of your own. No attraction, no go.
You need to either tell him the truth, or if you really fear hurting his feelings, maybe tell him a white lie about youre getting back with your ex or something.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2015): Im the OP, ok thanks for that, im just worried because hes become attached to me and no matter what i say i know ill hurt his feelings. He even said ive given him hope to him as ge thought he would never settle down, with internet dating i could be chatting to a few people so i was thinking maybe i could let him down in that way by saying another guy has asked me to be his girlfriend . What do people think of that idea ?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 June 2015):
So he sent you an OLDER (I bet) picture to reel you in, and then a current one, because he thinks you now care enough to look past his faults.
I think I would just be slightly honest. Tell him you don't really feel a spark. I don't think you will have to go into details.
I don't think you sound shallow. Attraction is important.
And why waste more of your time AND his, if you already feel turned off?
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