A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We saw each other for 5 months, then separated because of distance, continued LDR on and off for 3 months and then finally ended it because she wasn't ready and have never since tried to be friends.I've tried numerous times to just leave her behind and focus on getting over her but every time she brings me back because I'm in love with her and she cares for me very very much. We only broke up because of the distance and said that we'll see what happens in the future as I plan on moving to her city regardless within a year.She doesn't want me to disappear from her life and deep down I dont want her to from mine. However here is the problem.Lately, we always fight and it myself that gets mad. She never puts in the effort, it was 50% when we were together (because she was afriad to commit) but now during friendship its even worse. We talked about it last week and she agreed that she was never there from me and that from now on she would put in more. She wasted her breath because she hasn't changed. For example:NEGATIVES- We agreed to talk often however it is mostly myself that initiates it (she promised she would too)- Whenever she has something really important and I know about it I'll ask her about it, wish her luck, find out how it went (she never/barely/rarely asks me)- If she has a bad day, I'll do my best to cheer her up (she sends me a line or two with a sad face)- She always has an excuse as to why she's busy, and whenever we talk she always makes sure I know that she has other stuff she could be doing instead of talking to mePOSITIVES- she says she thinks about me everyday- if I get mad and threaten to just leave her out of my life she get super emotional and begs me not to- when we do talk, often times we reminisce about old times and sometimes talk about stuff friends shouldnt be talking about- we never have 15min skype sessions, the shorter ones are about 2 hours, and we often can spend a day on skype- we still flirt and make jokes about how jealous we areSo what should I do. She cares for me, I know that and I do too. But we can't be together right now and we fight weekly because I get mad at her for her lack of effort even in the friendship. Im afraid that Im asking too much for a simple friendship, but I can't ask for less because I can't be treated like that, I refuse to be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): hmmm.. how romantic you can be... but to be honest, this kind of relationship, usually doesn't last long..Why? becoz those 2 hours talk doesn't mean anything, think about it a husband and wife together almost all the time, but some of married people still split up....How much more this LDR thing?If you really wanted to make things happen...Don't stop pursuing her. Be consistent, Be more romantic and sweet. Treat everyday like its the first time you get to know her..If you don't exert extra effort, extra care, extra love, extra patience, extra understanding for whatever you may call your relationship with her, it will not work and it will not last. especially, the girl your dealing with, seems like a girl who's not afraid to let go.But this type of girls,once you really won their heart, they will give their all for you... seems like your so in love, so go for it.... I know your being treated like a stupid or soemthing, but are u sure that its just her who's being unfair? maybe u've been unfair with her too...Think about it... Good luck.
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