A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend was found guilty for Burglary during the London riots last August. It’s his first offence and is awaiting sentencing which will be custodial. A moment of complete stupidity has also lost him his job. He sent a text telling me he loves me and he call me later. That was a week ago. He won’t answer my calls or respond to texts. I know he’s obviously really stressed but I’m really worried about him. Anyone out there who’s been in this position and can give me some insight on his state of mind? What goes through your head when you’re awaiting jail?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2012): Thanks for your responses. He held his hands up and took responsibility in court with no excuses. I just stated it was his first offence to give some context. He’s awaiting sentencing so it’s the waiting and vivid imagination that’s the problem. The time for lectures is over. I now need to support him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2012): My husband went to prison for 6 years. He found it not too bad at all. He kept himself to himself but can more than hold his own anyway. Prison did not seem to be a deterrent to him as he thought it easy and sadly quite enjoyed the peace. He could read and go to the gym and got a job in the kitchen. Tell your boyfriend it is not as bad as he thinks but just to trust no one and keep himself to himself. He won't get a long sentence anyway and willl be out with remission quite quickly. The key things appear to never borrow anything or lend anything to anyone and watch for a while before you participate in anything so you can tell the lie of the land.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (8 March 2012):
 OP, I do not think anyone is going to have any sympathy for your boyfriend.
For what it's worth, I would hope he is feeling truely sorry for what he did, and not just sorry that he got caught. I hope that he is learning his lesson, and asking himself if breaking the law was worth it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2012): What goes through your head? "I wish I never did it".
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (8 March 2012):
 I've only been to court for what befalls almost every motorist - a speeding offence, but the whole system is designed to be intimidating and unfriendly, to deter you from doing it again.
He must be quite traumatised and probably thinks that you regard him badly, too, and is hanging his head, so to speak.
First offence or not, he DID do it, as I did when I went too fast and got caught, thereby contributing to the government's coffers!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2012): Hopefully its remorse and the gravity of his siuation from one stupid decision.
He might also be struggling with self worth and depressive as this tends to go with remorse and being punished.
He may need reassurance that, so long as he has learned and will grow from this experience and to NOT do such stupidity again; you'll be there for him.
How long is the sentence?
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