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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've been quite in love with him for 3 years.We've admitted to feeling affection toward each other quite a few times in the first year we'd met. It never worked out though and ended up us agreeing to be friends--which really meant never talking. We were those perfectly odd people who just work though. We both have the same obsessions with the same music. We both wear weird things and have unique personalities. He's always been very smart, a very hard worker. And we're both just odd. But the odd that you love. Everyone has that one odd friend I think. And I truly believe, we just fit. We talked about all the same weird things, listened well to eachother, and never got bored of each others company.Anyway.So I dated several times after that. But, in truth, I didn't like anyone as much as I liked him. I thought about him often.In January, things worked out! We really hit it off after beginning to talk again. We became great friends and talked on and on and never tired of seeing each other. I was constantly talking to and around him. Then, things got out of hand one night. Well, it was great though. It was romantic and nice. we both knew we loved each other. And he held me close all night and told me a great many things. And I truly believed him.By the end of the week--yes, just one week--it was over. He cut it off. He said we should only be friends. Which, again, means not talking. And it broke my heart. One week ago, we started talking again! And yet, the same thing sorta happened. Maybe I'm just not good enough to think of as a girlfriend and he is only sexually attracted to me. But i meant so much more to me! And he swore the same thing wouldnt happen as last time. And so far, it hasn't. We agreed to be REAL friends. But really, I don't want to be friends. I love him.So gentlemen please tell me:Do you like a girl who is bold and tells you exactly how she feels and sets it out for you? It's all or nothing, you can't hurt me and use me anymore, I love you dearly, etc.Or, is being quiet and sweet and carefully caressing and tender looks get your attention more? Would you be mad if a bold girl were to just come and kiss you?I'm usually very bold and open with my feelings, and when I want to do something, I simply do it.Yes, in a way I hate him. He's hurt me, used me, acted like a douche bag. But I can't let go. Not yet. In some weird fantasy, I imagine myself going up to him and saying something bitchy and kissing him really really well. In another odd world, I imagine myself doing such things as giving him long looks and saying small things to let him know I still care. In another, I picture myself yelling and just telling him i cannot stand him and just want to be with him. Please tell me, lads, what you'd like a young lady to do whom is quite desperately in love with you. What would flatter you most? Sweet. Horrible. Well, he deserves horrible at least. Still, I need to let it out.please help. I need opinions. How do I let him know I care about him SO much and want him to be mine, while making him want to be mine as well?
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female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (17 June 2010):
 Not a guy here, but I'm willing to offer up my humble opinion for what it's worth to ya.
I'd say you actually *do* love this guy. That back and forth, I love him, I can't stand him, I've just got to have him, I want to rip his head off roller coaster is your first clue, I think, that it's not infatuation at work.
Being one of those women who openly speaks as her mind, I can tell you that there are men who genuinely appreciate this quality, while many other run in stark terror from it.
Your best bet is to be YOU and only you. Adopting a masquerade is a very high maintenance way of deceptive practices and one that is ill-advised. Just be yourself. If he likes you for you, you're in-like-Flynn, if not, c'est la Vie.
Please also understand that you can't make anyone want to be your's. That's entirely up to him.
I'd recommend refraining from too many flights of fantasy, you need all your real world wits about you to navigate the relationship waters, as it is.
Be you, be only you and good luck!
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