A
female
age
41-50,
*opless
writes:I need advice (he is always on my mind)Let me start by saying I am SO SORRY this is a long one. So I met this guy back in college (my freshman year) and there was an attraction between us, but we just never seemed to find the right place or time for anything to happen. So we left it at that and stopped talking.It’s 5 years later and I was taking public transportation to work with my current EX and who do I run into but the old crush I got so nervous and all my past feelings came back (I am EXTREMELY sexually attracted to him) I walked right by him and pretended I didn’t even notice him, I did this for a good 3 maybe more months, my ex was with me every time. He looked offended that I did say hi to him in the beginning and he probably thinks I some crazy nut now (I actually had a facial expression of oh god it’s you). I finally worked up the nerve to talk to him, so now when I see him we exchange some words but before we can actually get in a full blown conversation I seem to just end the conversation and say “have a good day and walk away” I REALLY like this guy, and he just makes me so nervous (he always has), “NO” guy has ever made me feel this way before. He's always on my mind. He's the last thing I think of before I sleep and the first thing I think of when I wake in the morning. I try to focus on other things but it doesn't seem to help! When I think about his smile (a really amazing smile) it just makes me smile. I don't know. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t want to seem like I am an eager beaver with him, and I don’t know what to say to him, beyond “hello how are you”.My friends say just be seductive and flirty, but I am seriously bad at that I got out of a 5 ½ year relationship 3 months ago, and feel if I could approach him like that I would I just can't. Others say ask him out for drinks or coffee but I think that is a little too much, maybe I think that cause hello I can’t even talk to him. So I haven’t been running into him as much, nor had the chance to get into a conversation only acknowledge his presence from a distance. Figures right when I start to talk to him things get in the way make it even harder for me and I think it would be really weird if I walked out of my way to say hi to him (hello stalker). Which might completely contradict what I am about to ask you all for advice. Would it be weird if I e-mailed him via myspace and if I did I have no clue what I would say “Hey haven’t seen you in a while wondering if you would like to meet up sometime” I mean I get so nervous round the guy it is hard for me to get two words out. He must think I am a crazy person, especially if I just contact him out of the blue means I looked him up on myspace. My sister says to just let it go and not contact him, stop thinking of him just forget about him, she is not always the best with giving relationship advice so I was wondering if she is right or if anyone has another take on it. Also if there was a person that admired you from afar you obviously don’t know she likes you but you do know them as an old acquaintance, what would you consider a sexy, cool or even appropriate way for them to approach you? The only thing is for them to approach you she kind of has to go out of her way and I feel maybe it could look a little desperate. Does anyone have some unique or interesting ideas? I’m open to anything. Please I need help and be honest should I let it go? It's just I think of him all the time, and really want to get to know him better I just let my shyness and nerves get the better of me before anything else. Oh and were in our mid 20’s, I know I sound like a 14 year old, that’s what makes it harder.
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crush, flirt, my ex, myspace, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, breezer  +, writes (11 July 2007):
Just ask him out for a coffee, saying that you have a lot to catch up with. Don't leave this guy pass by you because if you do you will always think 'what if.....' Just do it. I would'nt do it by email though, just say it next time you see him, just be yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): Oh for heaven's sake - next time you see him just ask him out for coffee or lunch! No need to be nervous: he's a hman being and probably not perfect.One thing: you say you are extremely sexually attracted to him. Unless you want to simply have a one (or half a dozen) night flings and don't care if it goes any further or not, I'd cool it on the sexual attraction and go out with him five or more times and just focus on getting to know him better and try to see whether you have enough common interests and similar outlook on life for it to be a potentially good match. Otherwise, "sizzle" can very quickly lead to "fizzle."I know you didn't ask that, but take it for what its worth.....
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