A
female
age
51-59,
*at71
writes:I've just been away on holiday with 3 other female friends for the last 10 days. Spoke and texted my BF the whole time I was away, he said how much he missed me etc. Tonight is my first night back and I've missed him like crazy, I wanted to see him just for a little while and it's almost like I put him on the spot. He said he was a bit busy and wanted to get an early night to start his new job tomorrow. All I wanted was even 30 mins just to see him. He said he'd come up after work tomorrow. We'd talked about seeing each other the first night I was back before I left! I'm feeling really hurt and annoyed and like he obviously hasn't missed me as much as he's said or I have missed him.Before I left I also saw he'd had a lot of calls from his ex GF and he said most of them were missed calls etc and she was wanting him to to a building job for her. He told me he had referred her to someone else. Then the last phone call while I was away he said how she had picked him up and taken him to look at the job, just in case it got back to me. Said it was more of a plumbing job and referred her to a Plumber. I'm having some major trust issues here as he has a huge reputation as a player. Even though he ensures me there was nothing in it.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (6 November 2012):
 I'd be concerned. Sounds like he made plans with someone else when you returned and had to come up with plan B pretty quick. Then again maybe, just maybe he's planning to do something special and needed the extra to plan something. Wait and see how tomorrow night goes. But I'd check his phone if you can and see if there's a trail of phone calls that lead him to the ex's front door (if you know what I mean). Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2012): About the first part of your post, I really wouldn't worry if he can't see you for another 24 hours. If he's starting a new job the next day, I don't blame him for wanting to get an early night. And he said he'd see you the next night, so it doesn't sound like he's not keen. Did he already know he'd be starting a new job on the day you got back, when he agreed to meet you on your return from holiday? I really wouldn't worry about that.
The second part of your post is much more complicated though. There's no way to say what he's up to (or hopefully not!) with his ex. Is his reputation from recent times or years ago? He might have changed, though I think that might be optimistic. Have you thought of speaking to his ex?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (5 November 2012):
 I think this is one of those 'wait and see' type situations.
OK so the evidence looks stacked but give him the chance to come see you tomorrow, see how he acts then.
If you have trust issues about him being a player, seems like that may always be a feature in your relationship with him...but it's your call if you choose to accept him the way he is.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (5 November 2012):
 I'd say that the only "plumbing job" in your submittal is the HOSING that he is expecting you to believe!!!!!
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