A
male
age
30-35,
*austens
writes:What does it take to get a girlfriend? I am an analytical person. I'm not always happy and I question stuff a lot. I think about consequences before I do something. I might be a bit prude, but hey, I've got standards. Sometimes I'm very outgoing and sometimes I'm quite reserved. I have a few close friends and I feel that's all I need.But I'm still longing for love. It just seems like the only way I can become involved with a girl is to be really aggressive, and I hate being aggressive. I just want to be nice and relaxed and get what I want that way. But when I act that way, girls seem to lose interest very VERY soon after meeting me, like within minutes, and then give all their attention to my friends. Do I need to demand more? Pursue more?I live in a dorm with 7 girls to 3 boys. The problem is clearly with me. I need to figure this out NOW, otherwise it will be a lot harder to figure it out later.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): Man I think this is a really great question. I am 35 now and have asked myself the same many times.
I think the old adage is true, "women will be most interested in you if you appear the least desperate for it". Meaning, being very analytical, while usually great, may be working against you here. I think there is nothing wrong with being nice and relaxed, no need to be aggressive. But make a habit of not taking girls too seriously - you don't want to drool all over them in conversation.
I can highly recommend the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss. The concept in there is over the top but it's still a lot of insightful basic information.
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