A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I have never met this guy in real but have known him only virtually.He befriended me two years ago and we had great platonic friendship initially.He has real in-depth spiritual knowledge and has taught me a lot.Then one fine day after a year he said he loved me.I realized I too loved him .We used to talk whole night but only about spirituality.But in the past two months we started discussing sex and had cam sex too.But I really doubt what he is?He would go on talking endlessly about spirituality without giving me chance to talk.He tells a lot of lies too.But he makes excuses when I ask him to meet in real.He has a wife and a daughter but they stay separate.He says his wife has mental problems and dosen't allow him to even speak to his child though last year she stayed with him for ten days.I want to know if he is a genuine person or just mental case or a very shrewd person?What does he really want from me?If it was only sex, will a man wait almost one and a half year talking to the woman only about spirituality and love?He lives with a motto 'I refuse to be unhappy'.Can a man train himself to be happy in all circumstances?Do I mean anything to him ?Many times though he said he is strong and yet he cried telling me how his wife treated him and how he missed his daughter.He spins stories from books and movies which he thinks I have not seen and tries to entertain me telling them as those are the incidences that happened with him.Alas , I love with him whole heart and find it difficult to break away from him.He is 40 and I am 39.Where is all this going to end?He never tallks to me when his wife visits him , that is twice during past two years for 10 days.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 July 2010):
 " He tells a lot of lies too ". "He spins stories from books and movies ". Stay away from him. Some people are just compulsive liars, it's like an illness.
I think I met the champion of them all.
I was dating a guy, and I had already caught him telling me a few white lies, but, well, I liked him a lot and nobody's perfect blah blah blah.
He had given me a key to his apartment, well knowing , I guess,that I was not the type to ambush him or surprise him, and actually I had never used it. Only, once happened that on a Saturday morning I was leaving for a weekend out of town, and it was announced that my train was gonna leave with 2 hours of delay. My boyfriend lived just by the train station and I thought that I might as well wait at his place rather than in a filthy,noisy station, - I knew I was not gonna bother him anyway because he worked on Saturday mornings.
So I let myself in and sitting at the kitchen table, having breakfast, I find a guy with my bf's sweatshirt on, and my bf's haircut , and my bf's FACE, ...just younger. It was such a surprise, and such a Twilight Zone moment,that I started screaming ...very embarassing. It turns out that the clone is my BF's younger brother visiting for the weekend .
Only, I remember perfectly that during our first date he had told me that he was an ONLY child. When I confronted him, of course he treated me as if I were delusional and he insisted that I must have misunderstood or forgotten, he had told me about his brother.. But I still can swear on a pile of Bibles that he had said : only child.
(Go figure why,btw. It's not like the brother had same shameful secret or was a serial killer. He was a nice,normal guy )
Was I smart enough to turn my back and run after this incident ? Alas,no. I gave him several more months to lie to me about some more important ,hurtful,painful things before I wisened up.
But I learbed the lesson so that's why I tell you : if you catch a man who lies- even if it were just about his shoe size ! - don't walk, RUN.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): If you know he's continually lying about his family and his life, and you don't like that, then don't date him. Someone who can habitually lie about anything and everything will literally always lie to you.
Furthermore, you've never met in real life, so it's not like you're losing out on much. If he was always wishy-washy about meeting you, he probably doesn't want to, and just likes keeping you at a distance, where he's free of commitment. So far, he's using you emotionally to fulfill his need to talk to someone, and now to fulfill his sexual needs, too.
You have to ask yourself if it's worth continuing to talk to this man if you're getting nothing out of it.
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