A
female
age
41-50,
*ocute
writes:I've been dating this guy since i was in college, after graduting, he employed me as one of his staffs after which he got married to another lady i know he's been dating. Although we both know the relationship was a fling,he both fell in love with each other.Recently, he told me he can only give me his time and affection but can't give his love. I really don't understand what he means by time and affection. Can someone pls help?
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (7 March 2007):
 It seems to me that this guy is very confused about who and what he wants.
A
female
reader, oocute +, writes (6 March 2007):
oocute is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for the reply but since then, he's been calling me more often asking if am seeing someone else and telling me how much he loves and misses me. Does that mean he really do love me cos i can't understand why he seems to care that much.
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A
female
reader, oocute +, writes (6 March 2007):
oocute is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for the reply,you guys just got a burden off my shoulders.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (5 March 2007):
I would tend to agree with the consensus. If I said that it would mean all you could hope for realistically was friendship and sex if sex was wanted. I wouldn't go as far as to say this guy is necessarily using you but he has just made it pretty plain that he never intends to leave his wife for you and have a proper relationship with you.
What you do with this is up to you but I would try and kill any hopes that you will ever be together properly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): Why are you hanging around like a lost puppy???? there are plenty more blokes out there and this one is clearly not worth wasting another moment of your time. Put it down to experience and move on and find someone that you so rightly deserve and don't settle for second best.
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): This man is using you, BIG TIME. Love and affection, that's a good one. Is that another term for sex and giving affection during intercourse? He's married, leave him alone. He also employed you? By knowing all this, why do you even bother? Is he trying to get himself in deep shyt? Come on girl, don't be so naive.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (5 March 2007):
 Ok so you dated this guy in college, you shared time together and no doubt have some good memories. Water has gone under the bridge since then and he has got married, which effectivly make's him unavailable.
I woulden't do dwelling on what he has said, or not said considering his present situation.
I would forget about him now and find someone whos not attached.
Good luck x
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