A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyoneReally need help here. I split with my boyfriend on Saturday just gone, his choice as he wants to go back to his ex and the mother of his 2 children after 8 months apart, it doesn't hurt that she was always phoning him, anyway we still talk on the phone, but last night his ex found out about our split, he didn't tell her and he said today that he would like to remain mates with me but maybe hard as she can be a bit funny with that sort of thing. He also said they are together but they're not if you get what I mean? I said yes but I really don't understand what he meant by that. "We are together but we're not"??Please help what does he mean?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): He means he is a tosser that wants to keep his foot in the door. You deserve better.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (17 October 2008):
 You need to be very careful here. I assume that by "mates" he just means you are to be a friend but there will be no sex involved? He may be telling you the truth that they aren't really together but that line is used all the time by men looking to keep a bit on the side while they are bonking their partner as well. Do not allow him to use you.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (17 October 2008):
 I think he may mean that they are together for the sake of the kids, that they are together for appearances sake. But that their hearts are not in it and they are not romantically or physically involved. He is commited to her, but does not sleep with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): You really need to ask him to clarify that one sweetie. That could mean alot of different things. It could mean that he is with her, but they are not having sex. I mean, that's the way I would take it, but who knows? Don't stress yourself about it, just point blank ask him what he means. Hopefully he will be honest and not make something up.
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