A
male
age
41-50,
*ommyd96
writes: hi there. i only need advice from woman in order to get the right answers. im turning 30 next month and have never had a long term relationship. longest ever was 3 months. i have slept with probably 50 woman at least so getting a girl to date isnt really my issue. i know im goodlooking but lack confidance in myself at times and work on that everyday. my question is what do woman think of a guy who never had a relationship with a woman by the age of 30? for example if you (the girl reading this) and i started dating and found this out what would be your thoughts? would you think im a player, asshole, commitment phobic or just weird? this is weighing on me because im embarased to tell a girl i like this. please be honest with what you would think if you dated a guy and found out this info. thanks for all your help ladies. take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): If you said, "I've never dated anyone for more than three months but I've slept with over 50 women," that would freak me out. Because that by itself doesn't explain the situations of why you only dated for three months max.
But if you explained your circumstances more in depth, and your reasoning was logical, then it wouldn't matter. The past is the past. As long as you were being a good boyfriend, not cheating, being caring and loving, then that's what matters.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (9 September 2011):
Hi,
Different people have different opinions. In my opinion, I don't see anything wrong, sometimes it's takes longer for some people to find the person that you feel comfortable, love unconditionally, compatible, etc. Relationships are hard, it's so many things you have to consider.
Don't feel pressure, embarrassed to admit. Actually is good that you are doing what you want now, because when you meet the right person you will know for sure and you will be a wonderful boyfriend and husband. I head many guys that have only few relationships, and then when they are in a committed relationship or married, they go wondering about, what if? They have their fantasies, urges, and that's when man & woman cheat.
Embrace yourself, the choices you made, and be confident with the decisions you made so far. To describe myself a little bit so you can understand, I am in my mid 30's, had been in 2 committed serious relationship, never had a one night stand, boring right? But I am happy and ok. I have friends that have been with many guys, 3 different guys 1 week, and that's fine too. People live their lives the way they want, have different needs, some people cannot commit to one person, some cannot be alone at all.
So, don't worry too much... I don't think you are weird, have any problem. I just think you are a normal guy, living a normal guy life. Just didn't meet the right girl yet. So, basically you never been in love? :) it's great to fall in love, have someone that is your partner only, that you cannot wait to spend time, talk... Its the greatest feeling... I hope you find someone that you can love, so much that it hurts.... When you do you will understand what I am talking about.
Good luck and take care!
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (9 September 2011):
I would not draw any conclusions based on that fact alone. There are plenty of men and women out there who, for a variety of reasons, haven't been in a long term relationship.
What I knew of your past, and more importantly, how you conducted yourself in the present would carry more weight.
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