A
male
age
30-35,
*rdeal47
writes:She even tells me she doesn't know. But maybe you guys can give me an idea?She broke up with me a couple months ago because she decided she needed space, couldn't deal with the distance (we're long-distance), and wasn't ready for a commitment. I was extremely distraught and kept trying to contact her to understand why she made the decision. She naturally got pissed off and blocked me - my phone number, my AIM, my MSN, by Facebook, everything. I gave it about a week. I decided that I'd give it one last try. She decided to talk to me, and despite everything she said, she wanted to try again.A couple weeks later I found out that she was flirting with some other guy online when she told me she wouldn't allow me flirting. There's no evidence of cheating, but she did say, "I miss you." a lot, and they both exchanged, "You're cute"s and stuff like that.Whenever I webcam with her and ask her what she wants to have change, she tends to say, "I don't know."I really am in love with this girl, but she's extremely confusing. One moment it's, "I love you.", and the next it's, "I can't f***ing talk to you right now, you're pissing me off." when I'm just trying to figure out what she wants.Also when she broke up, she said, "I love you and I always will, but this can't work right now." ... Yet here we are. Also, her friends seem to hate me, and her parents do too. STILL she wants to talk to me. But then... GAH. All so confusing!What do I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): She wants to bed hop and you're cramping her promiscuity. I say look for a girl who won't put you at risk of a STD.
A
male
reader, CJH  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 Save yourself some tears and regain your self respect. Walk away, take the pain and start again - with somebody more worthy of the love you have to give.Only she can give you the truth about whats been going on but, for what its worth? My view is that her treatment of you has been cruel and heartless. Except, of course, the part where she tried to spare your feelings and let you down gently - telling you she will always love you but timing is wrong etc. Although the truth there is that the statement was probably more about her trying to ease her own mind rather than spare you any hurt.I think shes been out there making the most of the distance between you - seeing other guys and having her fun whilst she keeps you on a tight leash. There is no rhyme or reason for this - no two people are the same - but it reminds me of the age old saying she wants to "have her cake and eat it".Shes shown you how little you matter with her conversations with this other guy. Shes shown you how little you matter by cutting off all contact for a week. Shes shown you how little you matter by making sure her family and friends hate you. How much more evidence that this girl isnt the one for you do you need?I know its easy to say and hard to do BUT the only way forwards from this is to save yourself and stop wasting time on somebody who clearly doesnt respect you.I can hear you now saying "but I love her" "but shes the one" "but she came back to me" - pal, this is a long distance relationship and its not working. Youre sat there unhappy and confused whilst she is having the time of her life. Forget the word BUT and forget about loving her. Love yourself a little more and I promise you, the girls of your dreams will waltz into your life and love you the way you need to be loved.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 Well if am honest with you it sounds to me like she doesnt want to be with you, maybe she does love you but her friends and her parents are putting pressure on her and she is confused. Do you both get to meet up face to face much? For a relationship to work there needs to be some level of contact face to face. Arrange a date were you are both free and meet with each other. Talk to her openly and honestly and ask her what she wants deep down and ask her what you can do to help. There is obviously something playing on her mind when she finished with you and this is the issue that you both need to sit down and talk about. Goodluck.
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