A
female
age
30-35,
*essica M Payne
writes:Hi.So anyone care to help me out, and tell me wheather to leave or stay in my relationship?Been together almost two years (9th july) I cheated first two weeks in, lied for months.My now fiance (23 almost) proposed to me (20) three months into our relationship, orginally I said yes, then said no...he was fine with that...few months go buy and he asks me again the week after my mother found out my father cheated (getting my mothers blessing cause my father moved out at the time) Mum thinks he did it at the wrong time...My mother was engaged to a man before my father who was controlling..cut her from friends and family, wouldn't let her drive the car, checked up on her at work, chose what clothes she wore, you name it! (she never gave him a reason to be the way he was)Now, Yes you are all going to say "you did wrong, you need to live with it"...but hey, my fiance says that too!- My fiance has cut me from a couple of friends, guys who I have had a crush on and vise virsa, one guy being a great guy, would never do a thing to take advantage, and a girl friend who is troubled, but no, fiance says they had to go (from face book and my life)(He lost most of his friends cause I left him on our 8 months and his friends said "us or her")So there's the friends one.- My fiance wants to stay while my parents are away this week, but hasn't even had the decency to come in and talk to my mother. my family all think he is controlling me. He goes on about the past, how i moved out without telling him (his mum told me not to tell him)- He thinks when I get my license and a car I'm going to be out every weekend and leave him at home.- I work casual in child care, but he wants me getting a full time job in a servo. (I'm not a strong and tall person)- My fiance has tantrums if he doesn't get his own way, begged his mum to get me move back in (it was mine and his mums decision for me to move back home- The other weekend his mate was down and he said "be at mine by 4.30 but you'll have to get your own way here" I felt ignored and he was tormenting me because he was upset cause it was a year since his nan passed away, the week before he chased me around with a dead rat, causing me to pull scar tissue in my neck.- He's said horrible things like "if you haven't your license now, you never will" 7th attempt..- On weekends all he basically does is sleep (works full time though)- My fiance never takes a blame for things, or says sorry after an arguement, tells me to leave but won't let me out the house.- My fiance tied a rope around his neck when he found out I moved out.- Saturday, told my fiance my periods were starting and he goes "well might have to take you home then" (I can only sleep once a week, (weekends)My fiance has autistic tendencies and has had depression.Please tell me if I should stay or leave!
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at work, crush, engaged, fiance, moved out, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 July 2013):
 usually if you have to ask and you have a list of things that are wrong then it's best to leave.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2013): You have described enough problems in your relationship that the LAST thing you should be doing is making the situation MORE permanent (i.e. getting married to this guy.)
If you have to ask a bunch of strangers over the Internet whether the relationship is even worth saving, the answer is probably no.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (1 July 2013):
 I think for your fiance's sake...you should just leave the relationship. Neither of you guys are ready for a serious committed relationship and if this continues as it is ...one of you guys or both of you all will get hurt really badly.
That coupled with your past issues and misconceptions of what a relationship should be and his issues as well...until you both deal with it...you won't be any use to yourselves or anyone else who decides to be with you.
Both of you should go your separate ways, sort yourselves out and before you get into any relationship.
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