A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid what do you do when drugs come into play with your marriage ? i have recently found out that my husband has been getting high while away at work with his crew mates they all seem to be doing it and act like its no big deal . But when your 5 months pregnant like me and your husband whos suppose going to be a dad soon is doing it too well it becomes a huge problem. 3 years ago i might have had no problem with it because we werent married and we were just doing what everyone else our age was doing having fun but once we got married things like that seemed uninteresting to me so it is safe to say i grew out of my partying ways and grew up . i never pictured myself having to deal with a situation like this espically while im married because i thought he grew up to . i could blame his crew mates for "peer pressuring him "but he has a choice everytime and its simple just say no .i found this out while i was visiting him at his job up state and later on we had a huge fight and he promised me he would stop i warned him that if he didn't quit that i'd make him quit his job and move back home if not i was getting a divorce. its been a week since i returned home and i asked him a few hours ago if hes gotten high recenlty i knew the answer would be yes but i was hoping i'd be wrong . and like i assumed he said yes. he told me and i quote " you know i have why do you even ask" and i began crying he then said " its not like im cheating on you i haven't been with any girls or anything i don't have time for that " and i said so what i should be thankful that your not cheating your just doing drugs because drugs are so much better he said yes . he saying im making to big of a deal and that i should accept it that way he can be honest with me and tell me when hes doing it so he doensn't have to hide it from me and call me later on when the effects are gone and i honestly can't say yes to being okay with that. were having a baby for crying out loud its like i can't have my husband hold the baby right now because hes too high are you kidding me . sad part is this isnt the first time i've delt with drug related issues with him it was the same problem too and it was a different job and it happened last year so he knows i'm not okay with it so this time my reaction is no different . he says he does it because he misses me but look at me i miss him and im not going out doing the same thing because im pregnant im thinking about my son and whats best for him . so someone please tell me what do i do to fix this marriage ? i'm not about to just throw in the towel like that without knowing i gave him all i got ..all i know for sure is that i don't trust him right now and if i let this keep happening its going to get worse .
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female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (8 December 2011):
 If he doesn't go into a recovery center, I unfortunately do not see how your family could ever have a stable, happy home. If he has a history of doing drugs, he most definitely needs to seek help. Maybe you too need to seek counseling of some sort to help you deal with all the crap you're being put through. If his unborn child is not enough motivation to seek help, then that's on him. It's time for an ultimatum. Tell him if he doesn't get help and if he slip up one time, you're going to file for divorce. When dealing with drug addicts and alcoholics, you need to take a much more aggressive, firm approach an stick to it. If he can't get clean now, you need to leave.
A
female
reader, laurajayncoco  +, writes (8 December 2011):
 I feel sorry for you. This is a horrible situation. Drugs destrroyed my parents marrage they are needy clingy fight all the time cos there paranoid but are stuck together because they rely on each other if I was you I would nip this in the bud now before it gets worse. Sit him down and explain 2 him that you are going to have a baby and you need a man to rely on not a teenager. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2011): there is only 2 options to this either drugs or his marriage drugs ruined both my marriages
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (8 December 2011):
 Can't he get a job where he doesn't go away?
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