A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need an unbiased and neutral second opinion…Ok, recently I spent the whole weekend over at my girlfriend’s house alone for the first time in our relationship. We have only been together for a short while now.But, over the weekend, she gave me the key to every entrance at her house (Front door, Side door, Back door, Etc.) And, the security code to the alarm system.It freaked me out a little because we haven’t been with each other that long.That and she still lives with her parents. She is still in high school.Because of her father’s beliefs, she is not allowed to move out of her parent’s house until she either gets married, or finishes college, whichever comes first in her life. And, her parents are only away over the weekends.She kept telling me that the keys and code symbolized something, that it symbolized us.She kept talking on about how much the keys and the code meant to our relationship, and how much the relationship meant to her.She asked me, if I understood what she was trying to say. I was really nervous because she was in my arms at the time when she asked me, and I told her that I understood.I know I shouldn’t have lied to her, or been that retarded and told her I understood when I didn’t.But, my question is… What do the keys and code symbolize??? And, how on earth does it symbolize us???Also, how do I go about telling her that she is moving too fast for me, without giving her the wrong impression?I don’t want to lose her, because I know she can do much better then me.But, we are supposedly taking it “slow”. And, this keys and code thing is just moving way to fast for my comfort.I’m not very good with understanding women or the complicated ways they try to hint things.Please help if you can. Thank you. =-) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all of your inputs.
Her mother knows about our relationship and the keys and security code, because of her father's past however he does not. Her mother has been very supportive about our relationship.
But, I will try to talk things out with her, and ask her to slow things down for a bit. I will try to see if I can return the keys to her.
I care about her a lot and don't want to lose her.
I will keep all of your advises in mind when talking to her.
Thank you again. =-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009): I agree with Emilyanswers, It symbolizes her commitment to you, a way of opening up her world to you.
On the other hand it is also irresponsible of her to be letting you into her families' world, without thier knowledge. (I am assuming they're not aware of her actions)
If you feel she is moving to fast...you need to communicate that to her. Because she is not allowed to move out until marriage or graduation, she is probably in a hurry for marriage. Talk to her openly and honestly. Let her know how you feel about the situation!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 February 2009):
I think she meant that she is letting you into her life / heart / etc.
She's trusting you with everything her family owns etc.
It's a big deal.
If you are freaked out by it then perhaps you should re-have that talk about taking it slowly. Tell her how much you like her and how you want to be with her but re-state that you want to take things slowly.
This is the problem I have with no moving out / having sex before marriage. It forces people to rush into marriage just so they can have a proper relationship. She may see a big wedding on the horizon so if you don't see that too (even if it's far far away) then back out now, don't let her get hurt.
Good Luck!! xx
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