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What do I wear for my first time at a swingers’ party?

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Question - (15 April 2019) 8 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone

So on my bucket list for the last 10 years has been to attend a private adult party.

I have been recommended one and I have been checking it out quite thoroughly and it all seems legit and safe etc.

My question is - as a single female, going alone, what is recommended I wear?!?

All I have seen so far is 'Sexy' or 'dress like you would for a night out' but the reality is, I don't want to filth up any of my nice going out dresses and I also don't wish to go out and splurge on a specialist outfit that I may only wear once. Am I best to just wear a nice bra/pants set, more or less? Swim wear? I literally have no idea.

Plus - what is the deal - Do I turn up in clothes and just walk around in my underwear / naked or something when I get there? Should I take more than one thing in case it gets rather filthy?

I basically want to know exactly what to be wearing so that I don't turn up on my own (already nervous) and feel like the kid at fancy dress who went too far or not far enough - I basically just want to fit in.

Any other advice RE: first time solo swinging would be most welcome!!

Thank you friends x

View related questions: swinging, underwear

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (19 April 2019):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntCheck Google and YouTube for advice on parties like this. I’d suggest simple, but attractive. You may not find someone during the first party, so use it as a recon for understanding what to do next time.

A lower cut top with cardigan and nice skirt.

A sheer shirt with a fitted vest top underneath and jeans/skirt.

A smart-casual dress that’s fitted in areas, but flirty.

Nothing you wear should scream kinky/“prostitution” or trying too hard. Nor should it seem like Miss Honey (Matilda). Keep it simple, inexpensive and comfortable. I’d suggest buying something new for it, but not spending too much money or buying something you’re too attached to. Just be prepared for it to be awkward the first time and perhaps not as exciting as you expect.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2019):

I'm old fashion. Why not just got to a singles bar and get picked up? My wife, 45 and I go to one where we vacation. She gets hit on a lot by younger guys. Not that she doesn't enjoy that. Seems so less trollopie old school way. And just about everybody has been there.

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A female reader, ConfusedCarrie84 United Kingdom +, writes (18 April 2019):

I used to get hired to perform aerial acts for a well known swingers club (just performed) never anything else as that is something I'm not into.

From what I saw from the guests and their clothing, it ranged from nice going out bodycon dresses to elaborate feathered head dress and costumes. It really is just down to what you feel like wearing.

I hope you have also researched the colour code at these parties which are very important. Each colour represents what you are willing to do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2019):

A condom.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2019):

Does it matter? These people would be horny enough to fuck anything that moves. So, that means you, and I, or any other female would qualify. You can wear a potatoe sack and you will be propositioned by plenty. Don't you worry, OP.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2019):

Wow that is a difficult one. I will be surprised if anyone on this site can answer that one for you, but there a few clips about this topic on youtube.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2019):

As a single woman, you are likely to be very interesting to the majority of attendees! So set yourself some rules. Check to see what boundaries the organisers set- ie only women may proposition men. This will help you decide on what you want to do. Some single women will only get private with couples. Have some gentle turn-down lines ready for instance 'I'm just mingling at the moment, I'll come back to you when I'm ready etc. You'll need to decide in advance what you want to get into, stick to this and be really direct before you start, you can always go further later but don't let your experience be ruined by crossed wires. Being direct is always best about what you want and they'll feel empowered because they know there the boundaries are.

Honestly no one will care too much what you wear. Something inexpensive that shows your figure will be fine. And- not too hard to get off-if that's what you want. Pretty much anything can be turned up to eleven by adding great boots or heels! Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2019):

If it is your first time you may be in more of a meet and greet mood to begin with so you should dress nice, neat and sexy but still some what vanillia. A sexy dress with some cleavage or a sexy leg slit, open back or strappy back. Or nice trousers that hug your butt and a silky blouse. A matching lace set black or red underneath and strappy high heels will do.

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