A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years we have a 6 month old daughter the problem is I'm always last on his list of priorities he works all week plans what he will do at the weekend his plans never involve me or his daughter he does nothing to help me with our daughter and he has also never told me he loves me which I find strange any idea as to what I say to him about this thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 April 2016):
 You have been together three years and he has never told you he loves you? I wonder does he have an issue expressing himself. Does he at least show that he loves you in some ways?
I hope he is financially supporting you with the baby, if he takes no interest in her, or you, then why are you still with him? Surely you would be better off alone and being a good mother than being a doormat for him to use.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2016): "what I say to him about this"Goodbye. Nothing you can say will change him if he doesn't want to change. I'm presuming he behaved the same way towards you before you became pregnant, so why on earth would you ever have a kid with a guy whom you knew had no interest in even being a good boyfriend? Did you really think having a kid would change him?Any guy can be a sperm donor, but the time to determine whether or not he'll be a suitable husband and father (not necessarily in that order in your case) is BEFORE you conceive a child with him.All you can do is obtain a court order for child support and visitation. He may not choose to be an active part of your daughter's life but he is legally obligated to financially support her and he won't be able to claim you kept him from her.You must also prepare for the very likely reality that you will end up as a single mother raising your daughter on your own because that is effectively what you are now. Perhaps one day sperm donor will grow up and want to be an active and involved father but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for him to change, as you're now apparently wishing he magically would.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 April 2016):
 "You need to spend time with your daughter." That's not something that has to be said. I am beginning to think that the fatherly instinct is in some men, but not all. That is something I had taken for granted. I really can't understand why men (and some moms) can do that.
If he needs reasons why girls need father figures in their lives, you can show them examples that your baby girl could grow up into a teenager who looks for love in the wrong places, all because she has father issues. She can get addicted to male attention or even sex. If that doesn't worry him, there's something wrong with your boyfriend. You tell him you hope he's just not a sperm donor, breeder or a spawner. He has his blood and soul who yearns to spend time with dad, and be treated like a princess.
If you live with him but he just treats you like a roommate and does not change his party ways, you may have to break up and he has to move out. At least you won't look at the fact that you and your daughter are ignored. And you can start fresh with someone else who can love your daughter.
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