A
male
age
22-25,
*eelingfryeday
writes:I have known this girl-I'll refer to her as "H."-for almost two years now, though we have been actual friends since about August. I am a sophomore in High School, and she is a Junior in High School.My freshman year, I met her in my Theatre I class by accident when we were forced to sit next to each other a week into school because the seats near my friends were all taken and she had yet to really make any friends in the class. I noticed her Supernatural wallpaper on her phone, and started talking about the TV show but was skeptical to befriend her because I was a week into my freshman year and very paranoid regarding how upperclassmen would treat me. I made small conversation with her that day and then hardly spoke to her for the rest of the year, though I was very interested in her from the moment I met her for indescribable reasons.At the end of the year we both auditioned for a higher level Theatre class because we are both very involved in the school's productions and enjoy it, and I intend to pursue it as a career. We of course made the class and I was a bit excited because these higher level classes are more close-knit and friendly than that of a regular Theatre class, as most people take them solely for the mandatory fine arts credit. On the first day, our director made us form two circles, and had the inner circle rotate to meet people on the outside. As it so happened, H. was one of the people I was to greet and she seemed very excited to see a familiar face. H. told me that she thought I was hilarious during the previous year's class and that she had always hoped we got paired/grouped for a scene so she could get to know me better. We instantly became friends and as time passed I found that we shared various standpoints on religion, politics, and life in general. She would always sit by me during class and we would talk about the strange things that happened during the school day, as the class was at the end of the day, and eventually came to share more personal details about our lives. We talked/talk very often and I have always been curious as to if she liked me as more than a friend, but as we are both very involved in our Theatre department and share a class everyday, I thought it best to avoid asking her out or telling her how I feel because an uneducated assumption could lead to a very awkward situation.Nonetheless, we spent lots of time together and an event where we were not sitting next to each other or being around each other at all was scarcely found. On several occasions we briefly held hands as well, though whether the brief nature of it was because she felt awkward or did not want people to see that, I still don't know. All the stereotypical advice for these sorts of things is to ask her friends, but the issue is that most of her friends are my good friends as well because our Theatre is so close-knit and we are all extremely loyal to one another. Our Theatre friends would often assume that we were in a relationship though they would never say anything while we were both around, they would ask me individually and I assume ask her as well, but I would always state that I didn't really know what we were and then change the subject somehow. Even my mother made the assumption we were together and when I told her that we weren't, she would talk about how we're attached at the hip. Her friends outside of Theatre have all expressed interest in meeting me. I would perform in shows and H. would say how proud she was and we would all go out to dinner with a big group of friends. We still never talked about a relationship though, and sometimes I suspect it's because we both doubted the other and thought it would make things too awkward if we brought it up, though I still think that perhaps this was totally one sided and that she didn't actually like me that way.Over the last couple of months we have been advancing through a competitive theatre competition, making school history in advancement. This past week, we did not advance to the state level, and we were all very down about it, so after we got back to our school a few of us just sat against a wall together, silently, all knowing how each other felt. H. sat next to me, and then took my arms and wrapped them around her, and she sat with her head resting on my chest for about 15 minutes before we all left. We haven't said anything about that particular moment and I was planning to tell her how I felt finally, but she has been texting someone in one of her classes who is leagues more attractive than I and I am afraid that I've waited too long and lost her to someone else. I know this is kind of scattered and probably confusing and to an extent, a dumb question to ask especially since I'm probably one of the younger ones on this website but I have had no luck anywhere else and need an answer that is tailored to my issue. I really like her, and I'm afraid that I'll come to regret not taking action if I wait any longer, but of course saying nothing and remaining friends is preferable to making a situation awkward and never speaking again. Thanks,-feelingfryeday
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 April 2016):
 Go for it, you have nothing to lose, from the sound of your post you would both make a fantastic couple and I am sure she will go on a date with you, so ask her, before it is to late and she moves on. Let us know how you get on.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 April 2016):
 P.S. The answers are for the 50 year old “why didn’t I go for it when I was young, vital and handsome?”
And for the 80 year old “What was her name? I hope she had a long and wonderful and happy life, just like I did.”
Unless, of course, you choose to express your attraction to her, and risk the end of the friendship. Which, in 10 years, would be what, exactly? She’d be just a friend and she might have a boyfriend and you might have a girlfriend....
I’d go for what you’d regret least when you were 80.... if you can work that you at your age you’ll be an amazing actor!
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 April 2016):
“of course saying nothing and remaining friends is preferable to making a situation awkward and never speaking again.”
Quick. Without thinking about it too much.
Imagine yourself as a 50 year old man.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then quickly, imagine yourself as an 80 year old man.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
What would your 50 year old self tell your teenage self?
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
What would your 80 year old self tell your teenage self?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2016): HiHonestly, just because you think this other man is more attractive than you, it really doesn't mean that she thinks so too. I have thought many women to be a rival, only to find that the man in question thinks nothing of her looks at all, while I think she's stunning! And would you really, in all honesty, rather be on the sidelines of her life, as her friend forever, rather than see what can become of this. You don't find people that you are attracted to and you mesh with so well every day. It's pretty rare. Don't force anything, if you feel unsure. The opportunity will present itself to progress this or you will feel confident enough to be able to put your arms around her yourself, at an opportune and appropriate moment. She has already done this hasn't she? So you know she is ok with this. More than ok :-) She wouldn't have done that if she didn't want this from you. Good luck, and I think she does really like you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lovebugtomlinson  +, writes (24 April 2016):
If you think it's too risky to ask her straight out, then maybe get closer to her. Spend more time together. Just the two of you. Ask her to the cinema or somewhere else. Slowly as you guys get closer you'll know the right time to ask her. Maybe kiss her cheek at certain times or just make her feel special. Every girl loves that. Hope it helped
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 April 2016):
 You can hang out with her and then ask her if there's someone she likes. If she says no then you go ahead and get closer to her. She may be waiting for you because it's supposed to be the guys asking girls out. You already hugged her for a long time so a kiss will be just days away.
...............................
|
