A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi guys! This is abit of a weird question, I guess. My ex sent me a text a week ago apologising for making me feel uncomfortable with the way he was acting on one occasion, and saying he wants us to be good friends and have a laugh. However, I haven’t a clue if I write back, what I write. I don’t do friends with exs and he knows this, but what can I say that is humourous in response to his text. I am not sure whether he is expecting me to say ‘Go to hell....’ or ‘I’d love to be your friend’. Part of me will always love him to pieces, but part of me doesn’t want to see him. I have been really strong and have resisted all his offers to meet up and boy, have I found it hard to be like this at times. All the time he wasn’t at his most considerate I was gradually finding it easier, as time went by, to get over him but now he is being sweet this is making it more difficult again.At the moment I know that I am too angry with him to see him, but I am not sure I want to close the door on him entirely or not so I have not responded to him.I want to strike the right balance between assertiveness that he overstepped the mark to a bit of humour as well.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): Personally, I would thank him for his apology and say you appreciate it, leave it at that. No how are you's or asking him questions. If you made any regrettable mistakes in the relationship you can return the apology.
Maybe he genuinely just wanted to apologise, surely that makes you feel good? Makes him feel better, makes you feel better. It shows you respect each other and do care for each other despite not being together any more.
If he does replies back, you can just ignore any more texts you don't want to become on "friends" terms with him.
A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (8 March 2007):
I totally understand how you feel. I don't like to see ex's until years later, when all the feelings have faded.
Personally, I would be polite yet assertive which states your needs in a way that it would be inappropriate for him to ignore.
Something like "Thank you for your text. I am sure that you are trying to be nice and I am aware that you would like to be friends. However, I would ask that you do not contact me anymore for whatever reason. I hope you are able to respect my wishes."
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