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writes:I am 46, my brother is 34. I just found out that my father molested him from age 10-16. I thought I was a grounded christian. Needless to say this has shaken my fundamental belief system to the core. I feel so lost, sorry for my brother, guilty. I have talked to my pastor once. But let's face it, who could possibly answer the question as to why did God allow this to happen? So my new question is what do I do with my anger at God? I don't trust him anymore. Please respond.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): I believe that God can use those around you as instraments to help you in your darkest hour. That he can send the spirit of comfort to those who are intune with the spirit and can hear it's promptings.
I believe that you are a strong and loving spirit and being that can overcome anything that stands in your path.
You are enduring and that is most admirable.
I agree with YummyMummy-take your time in healing.
Best Wishes.
*hugs*
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female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (21 August 2007):
 Take your time hunni. There will come a day when you feel you can turn to the bible again.
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reader, st +, writes (20 August 2007):
st is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank all who responded. This is the darkest time of my life. I went to church today and just cried but I went. I'm reading some "christian" books but can't read my Bible yet.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): I have been on this road for 25 years. For me it was my oldest brother and others who he "delivered" me to. Starting when I was five and until I was empowered to say no when I was 10.
The Lord allows things to happen for reasons that we can't see. "Needless to say", these things test our faith. There is a lot of healing in your future. Even in your anger, you are in the palm of His hand. He loves you and will show you His glory in the midst of this storm. Look to Him and say "Father, I don't understand...but I trust you." Don't lose faith. Tribulation brings growth. This is when you run to Him...not turn away.
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.
I have seen this in my life. Everything that my life is seems rooted in my brother. Choices I have made, beliefs I have held, men I have chosen...The disgusting memories, the guilt and self loathing.
And through it all, the Lord has proven Himself faithful. I am blessed abundantly. I would not change my life from start to finish...no regrets. I am forgiven and I am free. Even when I didn't want to forgive, I confessed it to the Lord and He has healed my heart of the bitter anger. I deserve nothing that I have, but my heavenly Father supplies for my every need. I trust him always.
I was able to give thanks and praise the Lord when my boyfriend died in his sleep last year. Because I looked to Him for comfort, He opened my eyes to His wonders in that circumstance. If we are trusting the Lord, we can't help but see reasons for praise.
1Th 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Your circumstances aren't new in this fallen world. You have to decide how to handle it...you can chase the anger and darkness, or turn to the light and find peace.
I praise the Lord that your dad's sins are no longer hidden and that your family can now begin healing. I am thankful that your brother is not alone, but has your support and love. I give thanks that you are reaching out for help with this anger. I give praises that in His perfect timing, the Lord has allowed this to be revealed. You are a grounded christian. A younger you may not have come out as a christian in the end. I thank God that He does not test you beyond what you can stand.
Hallelujah!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): Ah I'm so tempted to debate the free will aspect of Wild Thiang's comment. Must stop myself.
As for Ms. 41-50, you can always redirect your misfortunes to seeking out a method that can cool your passionate anger. Rather than dish out negativity to the one who gives us all supposed 'free will' though ultimately ending up either in hell or heaven [ahem], maybe you can expand your spirituality outwards and find solice in the philosophical teachings of other religions as well as your own, and then applying it to your individual needs and desires.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): This molestation issue sounds like you've had an intense firsthand experience with the fact that the world is a nasty and unfair place. You sound like a person who probably always intellectually understood that the world can be like this, but you've never previously had such an emotionally hard-hitting example of it before. Sound like this is making it real to you like nothing previously ever has.How not to get angry at God? I dunno. I'm as angry at him as anyone I've ever known. I think it's easier not to believe in any "God" whatsoever than to believe in a God who's half as evil/indifferent as this world indicates. We sentence humans to death for crimes that are pitifully minor compared to what our beloved deity does every day.
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reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (4 August 2007):
 God would be responsible for your brother's horrible experience IF God caused it to happen. But He didn't.
God gave us the gift of free will, as Malyce pointed out. Therefore we choose the direction of our lives - not God. We can choose to kill or save lives. We can choose to believe in a spiritual being or not. God does not determine this - we do.
The best thing you can do in the wake of this horrific revelation is to support your brother - that is, channel your anger into helping your brother heal from his wounds.
Furthermore, get rid of the guilt. It is a very harmful guide for your behaviour, meaning it is harmful to YOU. Guilt will damage you. How can you help your brother if you too are damaged?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): Always remember that God loves you and all of your family very much, and He will judge your father for that sin someday. God didn't want this to happen because he created your brother and blessed him. God is truth, and love, and kindness. And God is holy. Out of all the people in the world, The Lord is the one person you can depend on your whole life, and have faith in him and trust him. The Bible says, "The Lord replies, 'I have seen violence done to the helpless, and I have heard the groans of the poor. Now I will rise up to rescue them, as they have longed for me to do.'" Rejoyce in all the blessings that God has given you, it is your father that is to blame for this. Like I said at the beginning, God loves you very much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): First off, this isn't God's fault. He gave us the gift of free agency and you Father excercised his in a manner that betrayed his role of Father. Your Father is the man to blame, his desires are ugly, twisted, and evil. He is the vile criminal, not God.
I assure you that our Father in Heaven is very loving and wants for our happiness but life is about learning, growth, overcoming trials, enduring. We could not truly learn or grow or have a trial of faith if he did not set the world in motion. He cannot go against his gift of free agency.
The sad thing about this abuse is that it is likened to murder and God did say thou shall not murder. He also stated Children are a heritage of the Lord. They were to be loved and taught goodly ways-your dad violated this law.
This is a very hard trial for your brother and thank goodness he has you, his loving, accepting sister to support him. It is good to not be alone in such dark times.
Your brother was very brave to overcome his fears of being rejected and abandoned by those he loves most. I hope he is in counselling to deal with the trauma and betrayal of one who is supposed to protect him. How awful.
Your anger is justified as it is self righteous anger as you know what has happened was wrong and committed against an innocent child.
I suggest you get some counselling as well to help you deal and heal with this revelation.
Trust in God, have faith, he knows and mourns and is there for you and your Brother to turn to for comfort and guidance, he will not turn you away.
Best Wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): You cannot blame god for this. I'm a very religious greek orthadox. I pray every night and after dinner but the honest truth is. I dont know if god exists or not. Nobody does. Everything happens for a reason and for all you know it could have just been karma. I dont think your anger is actually aimed at god. I think you are subconciously angry at your father and you are blaming god because you trust god the same way you trust your own father. If i were you i'd stick to my beliefs and maybe get some help channeling the anger into something more positive. I think a punchbag may help. good luck =DXxXxX
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reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (4 August 2007):
 I've been here before, and I'm a very strong christian and for a long time I felt that I had been abandoned.
It is not for us to say why God does anything to/ for us or others. He can take away life and give it. God was there with your brother through this awful period of time, and he saw what happened and he has seen how upset it has made your brother and you and he will not give up on him so don't give up on God.
God will see these things and your father will be punished for his actions one day. Remember- God gave us free will. It is not God's fault about what your father did to his son. Your Dad made the decision to commit to this act not God.
Look to God for comfort now. He's still there, but you have to realise that your Dad commited this crime. Not God.
God will always be there for you. He's still there, he never left you. Turn back to him and find your faith and trust once more. God let your brother live to find his feet again and to look to him for comfort. Some people weren't given this opportunity. Your brother, even though he's been through an awful experience has been allowed to live to find God.
Take care. I hope this helped.
x
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reader, SleepingChrissie +, writes (4 August 2007):
 I must admit that I haven't been to church in quite some time.
I have asked that question, as well, when terrible things have happened to me. We should try not to blame God for the terrible things people do; bad things happen because of the devil. It's easy for us to want to blame someone who isn't responsible or can't defend themselves. Ultimately, it is our own fault for sins that we commit. After all, this world is just a "test" to see where we belong.
You can learn to cope with this, it will take time. Let me know if you want to chat... I have gone through a similar situation.
Wishing you the best,
Chrissie
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reader, YummyMummy +, writes (4 August 2007):
I'm not religious but I'm not exactly a non-believer.
It is harsh and horrible what your brother went through and I don't blame you for feeling all the emotions you are feeling. I was abused as a child and I could live with that (although I went off the rails in my teens). The bit that still f**ks me up is the fact that the guy also abused my sister.
I don't think I would ever of been a strict christian but with what happened I questioned God aswell for a long long time. I became a very angry person and turned to going off the rails and getting drunk and stuff to help me cope.
I eventually went to see a psychiatrist and I carried on seeing her for 18 months and am a lot happier and a lot less angry for it. Could you arrange to go and talk to someone about what has gone on and this anger. Somebody who isn't family or your pastor might be wise. It may help to chat to someone who doesnt know who you are or where you come from so they can have a completely unbiased opinion on the matter.
I can't answer the why did God allow this to happen as I still ask myself that now. If God wants to protect his children then why are their abusers and rapists and murderers? Someone once told me that God created the world and wants us to get on with living our lives without interfereing. I don't know.
All I know is you having this anger isn't going to do you or your family any good. Maybe you'll be angry with God for a while and it'll fade maybe it wont. I would find someone to talk to. It wont make you a nutcase for seeking help! I thought I was a proper nutter for seeing a shrink/therapist or whatever you want to call her but it was the best thing I ever did!
Good luck hunni!
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