A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The only way she's going to want me back is if she feels like she's losing me. How do i do that? We've been apart for 4 months and she doesnt' want to date me, but wants to remain friends and talk/catch up etc. Up until a month ago she would say she loved/missed me and could not wait to see me. It faded and then we had a final closure. Even though she said she wasnt going to contact me and was gong to leave that up to me, she texted after 2 weeks and wanted to talk. She contacted me with an audio message playing with our song from when we dated? hmm..What do i do to get her to want me back? She never broke up with me because she didnt love me. Btw we both are away at school and everytime we're home something sparks up but she just doesnt want to date me. Do i cut off all communication with her, telling her i cant handle the way things are, do i start dating, help please!
View related questions:
broke up, spark, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 February 2009):
 So you want her back? Okay, you have to change tactics a little bit. Do start dating other people. Bright, interesting, fun to be with girls are the ones you want to be with now. Or at least, even if the girls you date aren't all of those things, you are going to get it across to her that they are, and that you are a hot hot hot commodity on the dating market at your school.
You may want to get one of your girl friends (platonic, of course) to help you out with this.
She calls, you answer, but you say, "Can't talk long, I have a study date with _______. (insert girl friend's name here)" If she asks what you're up to, be vague. Call her by that girl friend's name by "accident" once or twice. If there's any way to get your accomplice to answer your phone when you know it's her, let her do it. What you're going for is the illusion that you are getting really really close with another woman, but you never actually tell her your dating that girl. You just get her guessing. Evade, avoid, create a cloud of doubt.
Do you have a facebook or myspace page? Start posting pictures of you in very close proximity looking VERY chummy with your accomplice. Esoteric captions that suggest that you have a crush on her. (Again, you have to make sure your accomplice is okay with this. She might need to vet the pictures and the captions before you post anything.) This is tricky because it will give other people at school the idea that you really are interested in Julia. So this is a very tricky balancing act to pull off.
So be busy, be distracted (let her think it's by another girl) and don't be so available to her. You should be able to get her very nervous about what's happening between you and Julia if she really does miss you. If she doesn't really care and is happy that you have a new girl, you'll find out soon enough. Remember her first reaction may not be the true one, give it some time to observe the reaction is the genuine one, or one designed to cover up her true feelings.
Those messages and the way she behaves when you're both home may just be nostalgia, looking back with fondness on the past, rather than hope, wishing that things would change in the future. And remember, whatever broke you up is still out there. Why did you two break up anyway?
Hope this helps!
A
female
reader, Having Problems???  +, writes (23 February 2009):
go completely cold turkey no contact wotsoever and if you see her avoid her, also u should start mixing with other people. if she thinks ure moving on then she'll start 2 get jelous and not want any 1 else 2 have u. eventually after a while of no contact she will breakdown and come back to u. thats only if she truly loves u tho. otherwise get on with your life dont hang on 2 sumthing which mite neva hapen but always have faith. good luck x
...............................
|
