A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ughi feel horrible when we started going out, i promised my girlfriend that i would quit smokingwhich i did and did not smoke afterward at all, and i have kept all my other promises...yesterday my friend wanted me to smoke his last cigarette with him so i did and she happened to be next to me at the stoplight. I told her what happened and everything and what the situation was and she's still upset with me. What should i do to gain her trust back? I know what i did was wrong, but i love her so much i cant lose her... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): My boyfriend quit smoking for me. For a whole month he didn't smell like cigarettes and i really believed he was done. i kept telling him i was so proud of him and i told everyone else that too. Then he asked me to go on his phone and text his mom for him but when i turned touched the phone a message was up that he sent that said "i'll be home at 6:30 let's smoke before". I flat out left him in front of everyone at his baseball game. Eventually we talked and everything and i told him i was more upset because i trusted him so much and the fact that he didn't tell me made everything much worse. He said he's been stressed and I refused to take that as an excuse. Then i found out he's had a few in the past month. We've screamed and gotten mad at each other because i cannot stop bringing it up. but i have never had such a connection with a person and i am willing to make it work. He looked me in my eyes and made a promise to me that he is done and he will not risk this again. And it was reassuring. So i made a promise to him im not going to bring it up anymore and throw it in his face but from now on if it happens again he needs to tell me on his own. If he's caught in another lie like this he understands i will leave because to me trust means the world but we've been doing great
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): Honesty will always win out! just be as open as possible with her, if she can't deal with the truth and understand that your intentions are good, then she's not worth it anyway. Admit fault, appologize, and most important, be honest!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): ok, i completely aggree with the other answer that you recieved. you have to remember girls are not like guys both in a good and bad way. A girls trust is one of the most important things that you have in your relationship. Now if you guys truely love each other theres ways to work it out. Like the other answer said DONT DO IT AGAIN. Smoking is hard to stop believe me i know i was a smoker and i did give it up for my girlfriend. I understand that it was your friends last smoke but if you promised her you were gonna stop you kinda cant say I smoked becasue it was my friends last smoke. The smarter thing to do was like the other answer said was to either text her or even better yet call her and explain what was going on instead of her seeing you at the light smoking. Because guarentted she probabley thinks that, that wasnt the first time. Trust is something your not gonna get back over night its gonna take some time but dont be discouraged or give up it will come back if its even gone. You guys need to sit down and talk. shes not making you stop just to be mean shes making you stop becasue she cares about you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): Well mate one thing thats happend here is you've tried to please one but ended up hurting another quite badly, with your girlfriend you must be honest if its going to work, you have to stay true, if your friend wanted to smoke his last cigarette with you you should of asked him to wait and text her or something, if she was really serious on not wanting you to, you dont do it worst thing is to break someones trust and your promise to them. What you should do is:
1. Honestly Apologise
2. DONT DO IT AGAIN!
3. Tell her you love her and apologise
4. Admit you were wrong
5. Ask her if she will forgive you
6. Be as sweet as you can to her :)
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A
female
reader, candy00s  +, writes (4 June 2007):
 Just be honest and tell her that you made a mistake and you have no intention of doing this again.
You broke a promise to her and she is bound to feel a bit let down by it.
Explain that you did it to help a friend give up the fags.
Just be honest with her. xx
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (3 June 2007):
 All you can do here is be brutally honest with her and say it was a stupid one off thing and that it will never happen again. Then treat her to a nice romantic meal at you favourit resturant with candle light ect. And when the ambience is just right say how sorry you are again.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (3 June 2007):
 i can see how you wanted to help youre friend be happier but ure promise is the bigger one that you should have stuck to, u need to apologise to her an tell her that you should of thought better about what you did that you wanted to help a friend but that ure sorry for what you did an than you wont do it again an make sure you keep youre promise to her..some women feel deceited its something that can defeat the mind which makes u think what if other promises will be broken, try an reasure her it was a silly mistake that you have learnt from an wont do it again.. hope this helps xx
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