A
male
age
41-50,
*eeking Advice
writes:What do I do if my girlfriend is not happy anymore? She says she still loves me a lot and I have not done anything wrong to make her feel this way. She says I do so much for her and she can't accuse me of being a bad boyfriend or not taking care of her and her needs. She is really confused and still wants us badly but cannot help the way she feels right now. She doesn't know what to do. She feels like she can't really talk to me anymore. We have always relied on each other and had great communication. She lives in a different city which is an hour away so we see each other over the weekends and spend 3 nights a week together until we both go to work on the Monday morning in different cities again. It just happened that we haven't seen each other for the last 2 weeks until she told me this. She admitted to not missing me as much as I missed her or like she usually does. Monday to Thursday when we are not together just feels like a routine to her now. She does not really look forward to morning texts anymore or even when we speak on the phone in the evenings. 'It feels like our relationship is stuck and I cannot see us in the future anymore' she says. Before this, we would talk about the future and our plans all the time. We are still very much attracted to one another and have a healthy sex life. We used to live together for a little while before she moved for a 6 month job to another city. We have always had the vision of moving back in together once her contract finishes. I was even happy to move to another city with her for this to happen.She said there is nothing I can do or change and she doesn't know what to do either for this to work or for her to feel differently. She is fighting for us though. I just don't know where this went so wrong. We have a history of about 3 years but properly dating this time for about 7 months. She was in love with me before I was in love with her and was infatuated with the idea of us being together. I have always liked her but circumstances never allowed me to commit to her until this time. I am 30 and she is 23 if that makes any difference. I have been nothing but honest and loving towards her as she has been towards me. We are/were completely devoted towards one another and inseparable. We were so happy together. It seems like the shoe is on the other foot now.I don't know what to do, I feel helpless because of this. Do I be patient and let her decide if she wants to be with me, do I continue being affectionate verbally and physically towards her or do I assume that this is the process before a break up and withdraw myself a bit?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): To be honest w/u I would break up w/her and test it out that way if she misses u then its all good but if she doesn't then I think its over. Usualy a person realizes what they r missing when its gone so hopefully she does if not its over and move on don't waste your time I don't care how special she is it gets worst the longer u stay together then it will be easier for her to cheat or direspect u. I hope it goes well so ggod luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): Ask her truthfully does she really want to be with you, ask her is she unsure of your relationship, does she want to see other people. If she says that is not it, maybe she is depressed and you guys need to seek her help. In order to fix this, you must get the root of the problem. If you can't find the root of the problem with her, there is a communication breakdown and this is unhealthy for you. If you can't get to the root of the problem, or work on the problem, you should probably go on with your life and continue to be her supportive friend. Good luck!
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