A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now he had a bad childhood which has affected his adult life the problem is he doesn't know how to show love or deal with normal things in a relationship.He is nearly 30 yr old but acts like a teenager He still goes out with his mates and does what he wants when he wants he didn't tell me he loved me after we had been dating for 2 years so I had to ask him he said yeah but has only ever told me twice he loves me.As for our sex life that is only once a week if I'm lucky I feel as though I'm taken for granted and that he doesn't care he just expects me to be there. We live together. Lately I don't feel happy at all I just want a normal relationship with him where he will tell me he loves me and make time to spend with me rather than doing everything else for other people and putting me last I've tried talking to him about this but he says everything is fine when it isn't If I dare to ask him if we can talk he just walks out on me what do I do I love him but i dont feel loved in return thank you
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (21 September 2016):
 My boyfriend has abuse in his past. He met me, falling deeply in love, but didn't know how to show it or understand receiving love. We've been together nearly a year and a half and he still struggles with intimacy because certain closeness feelings makes him uncomfortable.
The difference between my situation and yours is that my boyfriend, albeit very gradual, will talk to me about it and try to improve it together. Without that communication, you're stuck. Either couples counselling or walk way. He won't change, if he's not willing to try.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 September 2016):
 If you don't feel loved and he refuses to talk to you about it then the only option you have is to walk away. Yes it will be hard, but what is the point in staying with someone and being unhappy.
I am sorry he had a bad childhood, but many do and they come out off it stronger. Has he tried going to a therapist or talk to a professional?
If he acts like a teenager then it is almost impossible for him to have an adult relationship. Every-bodies sex life is different, if you are not satisfied then talk to him about it. He may be satisfied with it.
As for him telling you he loves you, well it is only words, it sounds like he has trouble saying them, if he showed you love then this could be forgiven but you feel like he has no time for you and spends his time out with his mates. If he refuses to talk then tell him to pack his bags and go. You deserve better than this, he is taking you for granted, and he probably thinks you will be there no matter how he behaves, you need to show him you mean business, or he will never change.
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