A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:iv been with my boyfriend for nearly 10 months and he has already proposed. weve not been getting on very well and were always arguing. but my ex boyfriend keeps coming round and telling me he still loves me and wants me back and that hes sorry for the past as i was raped by 3 of his friends. i lost his baby due to this and iv been on depression pills ever since. i still really love my ex but he came down the other night and ended up back at my friends house. her excuse is that her friend got on with my ex's brother. what do i do?? finsh my boyfriend and forget everything and move on, or remain depressed?
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depressed, her ex, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sarah10 +, writes (29 May 2009):
i feel you need to be alone to sort yourself out. your current boyfriend don't make you happy and your ex boyfriend is an ex for a reason. Things didn't work out with him the first time so i would stay clear. just have sometime on your own and put your happiness first. hope things work out for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): I love a girl but i am in confusion whether i should express it or not if i express it may be i lost hiss friend ship what should i do
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): I guess its better you go ahead with your life rather than just thinking about partner and boy friend....
Look at the world around you....and just move on with life.
Stop thinking about the bad things happened.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): You sound confused. So you need to resort to what you "Know" to see you through this situation. I would question the character of a man that would have friends that would violate you in that way. I think God pulled you out of that situation and blessed you with a new man that loves you enough to commit his heart and life with you. To love and protect you. One time I lost a baby due to my exboyfriend's daughter attacking me. It was devastating to go through the loss of my baby, but it all worked out for the best. It wasn't meant to be.Sometimes when you go through things you can't see the purpose in it until down the road. So be prayerful and God will lead your steps if you ask.The reason you are having strife with your fiancee is because you are divided and confused. That can bring the worst out in a person.If you are feeling depressed rebuke it in Jesus' name, that is the work of the enemy trying to rob you of your blessings. God doesn't give depression. Sin and the enemy does.Pray that God opens the doors to the things that is his will for you in your life,and closes the door on what is not his will, pray that he opens your ears of understanding so that you can make clear choices and be at peace.If you have any reservation or concern about going back to your ex, don't do it. Until you have peace in your spirit wait.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (12 March 2007):
If you cant seem to work things out, its probly best to move on. I really dont think you should get back with your ex. You need some time to heal. I think some time on your own would be the best thing. If i was you i would focus all my energy and attention into saveing money to go on holiday. Perhaps you should get a pet dog or somethin.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): You need to have a chat with your current bf. Don't go back to your ex, please move on. If you don't come up with the answers you want to hear frm your bf then move on, but never go back. I'm so sorry to hear of your past, it is bad enough losing a baby but to be raped by three friends of your bf, that is a nightmare. Have you been to see your doctor? Maybe you need some professional help to get over these traumas. Please consider it.
Take care and i am sending you loads of hugs
xx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 March 2007):
 You obviously have far more feelings for your ex than you do for your boyfriend and that's the reason your relationship with him isn't going very well at the moment. He can see your mind is elsewhere, he can see there's something wrong (your mind on your ex) so I would finish with your boyfriend as it's not fair for him to be second best. That said, I don't think you should jump into another relationship with your ex right away, keep things platonic with him for now and give yourself a break from men. Try to "find yourself" again. What do you really want from life? What would you like to do with your life?
http://www.wikihow.com/Find-Yourself
What happened to you in the past was awful and I'm sure it's left big emotional scars on you so I think having time to yourself just now is a good thing instead of looking to guys as a crutch. Get some independence and build up your confidence some more, reassert yourself and know what you want before diving into another relationship.
So I agree with Max on this one, I would definitely say finish with your boyfriend and forget everything (including your ex) and move on with your life and MAKE something of it!
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): I agree with anonymous you need to stop seeing him he doesnt sound like a very nice person and tell your boyfriend that you need to take a break to clear your head you know?
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (12 March 2007):
 I'm sorry for your loss and trauma, hope you get over it and stuff.. You kinda pointed out your two choices yourself, stay depressed or leave and move on. I'd go with leave and move on. Dont know the whole story about the ex (like is he still friends with the buttheads, what's his position with the rape thing etc) so dont know if I can say give it another shot with him but I seriously doubt you should consider that. You're still young right? Go have some fun by yourself and while you're at it, maybe you'll find some decent guy who treats you right and doesn't keep having arguments with you. Either way, if you're other option really is to stay depressed, then I'm sure the choice is obvious.Good luck with what you decide to do
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2007): you need to stop seeing your ex, it seems to me that he is the source of all your problems. maybe explain to your boyfriend that your not ready to be engaged and maybe even take a break, just to sort things out. when you truly know what you want to do, do it. you need to focus on yourself now!
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