A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure if I should tell my husband or not.My husband and I met and got married young. We started dating when I was 17, and he was 18. We got married right after I turned 19 and right before he was going to turn 20. We're married a little over 10 years now, and have 2 beautiful children.My husband just got me setup on Facebook (I know a little late, but I'm not real computer savvy). I didn't put any 'real' personal information out there, but I did put my maiden name out there thinking maybe old friends from high school would find me. Well, 1 did. There's this guy friend from high school. He and I were real close, he lived only a few blocks from my parents. My husband knows that this guy was my friend and actually met him one time we ran into him where he was working (that was 10 years ago though). I'm not going to put his name here, so I'll just call him Bob. Problem is, my husband knows that I have never been with anyone but him, but he doesn't know that Bob and I were a little more than casual friends. I don't know why, maybe Bob's begging, maybe my curiousity with the male body, but let's just say when Bob was feeling 'stressed' I lent him a helping hand, about 20 times I think. Well, Bob just requested to be a friend with me on facebook. I'm afraid he might post things or send me emails that I don't want my husband to see. But, my husband and I are very open with sharing, we both know each others passwords, and PIN's for credit cards. So at any time my husband can look and see how I'm doing with 'the facebook thing'.Do I refuse Bob's friend request?Do I email Bob and tell him my concerns and then quick delete the email and decide after his reply?Or, do I just fess up the past to my husband and let him decide if I should friend Bob or not?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2011): If your desire is to keep the past secret, refuse the request and then block him so he can't send you messages (your husband might well get them first). Good luck
A
male
reader, alex74 +, writes (22 September 2011):
 I think a vast majority of men would be delighted to know that their wife had only given one man some handjobs prior to marriage. I know I would. However, I am not your husband. The timeframe might be more distressing for him. He could ask, why are you telling me now and why did you not tell me before? Why do you want to befriend this guy? You could show him a HANDful of questions from this site that demonstrate what some men are struggling with and it would make 10 year old handjobs seem like nothing to worry about.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2011): How about you 'ignore' the friend request until you've discussed it with your husband.If you haven't kept in touch with bob for ten years, you don't need to have him as a 'friend' on Facebook.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): I guess I have trouble understanding why you would want to add as a friend or say anything to some man who used you for hand jobs long ago. I would think you'd keep that in the past and pretend you didn't know who he was.
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